Feeling Blue

I'm feeling very sad and lonely tonight. It's new year's eve and Gregg and I are alone again. New Year's Eve should be a time of games and fun and celebrating the new year together with loved ones. Funny how your children would rather be almost anywhere other than with their parents. It's definately understandable. How lame is it that you would spend new year's eve with your parents? They are young and free and searching for their own lives. Just like we were thirty years ago when we would rather do anything other than spend time with our parents. It's a sad cycle. You have to come to some form of peace with it, but at 50, you still want to feel young and exciting. We are getting to the age where we have to do all the inviting in order for our children to spend time with us. They very seldom feel inclined to invite you into their world. I'm beginning to understand how my parents felt. Well, guess I'll go read a book or watch a movie with the one person I can't imagine life without. My husband.

Happy New Year!

A new year is fast approaching and we will be entering 2009. I remember thinking how far away the year 2000 was and could hardly imagine that I would be in my 40's when that year finally arrived. Now 9 years have already past since then. I am 50. More than half way through my life. I believe that the new year is a chance to reflect on your past and reconsider which direction your life is headed. Do you like where you are going? Do you need a clean slate? Each new year can be a second chance. A time of renewal...looking forward to whatever the future holds and embracing it. And so, I too, have made a few New Year's resolutions.
I resolve to embrace every moment that God gives me on earth.
I resolve to spend each of those moments wisely and carefully, realizing that they could be my last.
I resolve to spend each of those moments wisely and carefully, realizing that they could be the last for the people I am with.
I will recognize and appreciate the people around me for who they are and where they are at, not for who I want them to be or where I want them to be at.
I will try to be a blessing to others not an annoyance.
I am resolved to rein in my tongue and harness my hurtful words.
When I see a need, I will try to meet it. I will be a builder and supporter of people, especially my husband and my children.
I am resolved to reconnect with my mother and love and appreciate all she does.
I resolve to see the cup as half full and not half empty.
I will laugh every day to add years to my life.
I will cry once in awhile to keep my heart soft and pliable.
I will remember what Jesus has done for me and rejoice and be grateful.
I resolve to allow the spirit man control of my life and to push my physical man back into the deep chambers of my heart until I no longer see him any more.
I know that when I see my spiritual inner self change, everyone else will see the physical part of me change, also.
I resolve to be a greater giver than I already am.
As New Year's eve approaches and we prepare to enter into 2009, take time to reflect on the past to encourage you to embrace the future. Instead of looking at 2009 with fear and trepidation, look on it with hope and excitement.
Happy New Year!

The Hopes and Fears of All the Years are Met in Thee Tonight

Tonight is Christmas Eve! The night before Christmas! It seems too soon this year. I haven't had time to listen to all the songs, watch all the Christmas movies, and cook all the Christmas goodies I want. The older I get, time seems to just fly by. Before I even blink, it will be Christmas time again next year. I've started to realize how short time really is. How our lives are just a moment in the scheme of eternity. Yesterday, I was watching an old Christmas rerun of Touched By an Angel and she said a phrase that grabbed my attention. "The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight."
Imagine that. Every need has been met in the birth and death of Jesus. Every hope and fear has been met in the birth and death of Jesus. Tonight, as you open your presents, celebrate the season, and enjoy your family...take time to remember WHO has met all your needs, wishes, hopes, fears. He loves you. Don't forget to say thank you to the one who paid your freedom price. Thank you, Jesus..that our hopes and fears have been met in YOU tonight.

What Should I Bring Him?

I was up early this morning contemplating the Christmas season and was meditating upon Jesus and his birthday. I know there is a lot of speculation as to when it actually was, etc. but the point I focused on was that Jesus really did have a birthday. A day he was born, and a day he celebrated with his family year after year. They knew the day. Even his disciples, who spent three years with this man, probably spent his birthday with him. Probably slapped him on the back and said "Happy Birthday, Jesus!" Maybe even had a present for him. So I thought, about his birth in the manger and the shepherds coming to see this special new baby. The kings brought gold, and frankincense and myrrh as birthday gifts. A cute little song, The Drummer Boy, says he had no gift to bring so he played for him on his drum. I watched a movie one time about how a juggler presented his only gift to the mother of Jesus. He juggled and it pleased the child.
So as I contemplated this...I asked myself...what gift would I bring to this child? Although he was a baby, he was also a king. Do you bring him an item he could enjoy, play with? Do you bring him an item of need? Maybe a warm blanket? Some diapers? Or like the kings, do you bring him costly gifts? Would He appreciate an IPOD or a Wii game? Maybe a birthday cake and party hats? Jesus was just like you in every way..He enjoyed surprises and parties. However, I know he was not materialistic. His worth was not wrapped up in owning the most toys and driving the fastest cars. His mission on earth was not about what He personally wanted, but what His heavenly father wanted. He was our gift! So what is our gift back to Him?
We all have the obvious answers such as our hearts...ourselves...things like that....but is that the correct gift for Jesus?
I love giving gifts. I try to find just the right thing that means I know them, who they really are, and I definitely try to please them. Sometimes, however, I often hit and miss. Sometimes my own personal preferences are involved in my choices. I think if I like it, they will definitely like it. Not always true. Is it true that it is the thought that counts? I've heard that alot. I don't know.
What gift would Jesus want on His birthday? What gift would you bring Him?
I never came to any pat answer, but I did think about this...
I honestly believe that Jesus would want something from you that you don't even recognize as a good enough gift for Him. The littlest angel in the children's classic gave him an old box full of childish treasures. (a rock, a feather, etc.)
Jesus, like everyone else would appreciate something from you that means something to you. He loves it that you try to please Him because you know Him so well. He loves it when you use the gifts and talents that He gave to you to offer back to Him. All of the gifts I've mentioned above were pleasing to Jesus. But only YOU can choose the birthday gift that YOU should bring Him.
During this Christmas season, meditate upon the ultimate gift that God sent to earth for you. There is absolutely nothing that you could give in return for that gift. NOTHING you have would ever be worthy of His gift to you....but in recognizing that...you will be able to discover what gift you should give to Jesus on His birthday. Rejoice and be thankful and greatful. Sometimes...a thank you is a good place to start!

We Sure Could Use a Little Good News

The headlines scream at us from newspapers, television, the radio, and other sources the most horrendous stories. Scanning some of the large city newspapers I have listed just a few of the hundreds of thousands of headlines. I am not trying to be depressing, but this is a sampling of what is happening in our nation today.
Man Shot After Answering Knock at Door
Boy 13 is Charged in Stabbing of Brother, 16
Teen Accused of Raping Elderly Woman
Men Recruited Homeless to Steal From Walmarts
Florida Woman Accused of Hiring 4 Hitmen to Kill Husband
New Trial for Minister Convicted of Killing WifeThe news goes on and on and it seems the crimes become more heartless, more disturbingly violent, and having no consciences about wrong doing. Unfortunately, even the small towns we live in have become the source of some of these headlines.
The words to describe these crimes have been watered down to a more user friendly word or phrase. Abortion has become "The right to choose". Rape has become "sexual assault", Murder has been listed as "Crimes of Passion". No one takes responsibility for their own actions. Everything is always someone else's fault. We are raising children who are disrespectful, angry, lazy, materialistic, and think that everyone owes them something. Our children drive better vehicles than we do. Our credit card bills prove that we are a generation who waits for nothing or no one. Luxuries have turned into needs! Yet in foreign soil, children are dying daily from starvation and we close our eyes and say it's not our problem. Where has our compassion gone? Where is our empathy for others? Have our hearts waxed cold? When will the headlines be bursting with positive things? Why have we made the ugly, evil things newsworthy and the everyday feel good stories boring until that's all they will report? Surely, that is not all the news there is.
As the nursery rhyme says "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again."
Our nation is Humpty. We are headed for a great fall. And sadly, all the government programs, and all the Obamas in office are not going to be able to put Humpty (our nation) back together again."
Is there any hope?
Well, I do have a little good news for you.
Long ago, in the city of Bethlehem, a baby was born. He came to deliver us from many things, but saving us from ourselves is one of his greatest, most priceless gifts to us.
While the world around us is seeped in bad news, we have been promised good news. And that is what the word gospel means. GOOD NEWS! The first four books of the new testament in the Bible are called the gospels. THE GOOD NEWS. God sent us a book focused upon GOOD NEWS! Have you read it lately?
In Luke 1:67 Zechariah shouted it when his voice returned, "Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed (bought back) his people."
And in Luke 2:10, the angels proclaimed: "Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you: he is Christ the Lord."
And finally in Luke 4: 18-19, Jesus himself proclaimed of himself,"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach GOOD NEWS to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
This Christmas season, take some time to focus upon the GOOD NEWS God has for you. We do not have to remain in the darkness of this world, but we can be illuminated by our Light, Jesus Christ.
Our newspapers may be full of bad news, our nation may be in a downward spiral, but Jesus' own words in John 16: 33 says it best.

"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Till He Appeared and THIS Soul Felt Its Worth

Okay. I know Taylor enjoys my funny ones, but every now and then I have to have a serious blog. So here goes.
I do some of my best visiting with God in my car on the way to work. Usually I have Chris Tomlin or Matt Redman playing, but Gregg had switch cd's on me, and had put in Third Day's Christmas cd. As the song came on I recognized it as O Holy Night, so I just listened and for the first time, I really heard the words. I've sang it hundreds of times...sang the words out loud, even..but that morning, I really HEARD the words. There was a couple of lines that really jumped out at me.
"Long lay the world, in sin and error pining..Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth!" I stopped and restarted the song. The world had been in darkness and sin...longing and pining for the arrival of a savior. Someone who could break the curse that they were under and they could stop living in a shadow of that sin and darkness and awaken to a life of abundance and light. Jesus said, "I am the light of the world." That first Christmas morning...the light had shattered the darkness with a star, and as the light pierced the darkness, that baby's birth started to give hope to all that had been in the darkness for so long. Their mourning souls could finally see their worth to an almighty God who would send His Son, Jesus, to die for us. WOW! That made me see how precious we are to God. WE HAVE WORTH TO HIM! "For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!" We should all fall down on our knees during this Christmas season to worship the one who chose to come to us...in the form of an innocent human baby in a manger, born to die, that WE might have life and have it more ABUNDANTLY! If your life is any less than full of light, hope, and abundance....fall to your knees and thank Him for coming. Rejoice in the night so divine....The holy night that Christ was born! Thank you, Jesus, for appearing and showing THIS soul her worth to You!

The Twelve Days of December at My School Job!

Since it's nearly Christmas...here is my rendition of a Christmas song!

On the first day of December a student said to me,
My boogers sometimes are green!
On the second day of December a student said to me,
My head is itchy and sometimes my boogers are green!
On the third day of December a student said to me,
Bill just let a fart, My head is itchy and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the fourth day of December a student said to me, I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the fifth day of December a student said to me, THE SNAKE IS GONE! I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy, and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the sixth day of December a student said to me, My dad says I don't have to, THE SNAKE IS GONE! I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy, and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the seventh day of December a student said to me, The toilet's overflowing, my dad says I don't have to, THE SNAKE IS GONE! I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy, and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the eighth day of December a student said to me, I puked in the lunchroom, The toilet's overflowing, my dad says I don't have to, THE SNAKE IS GONE! I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy, and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the ninth day of December a student said to me, I can spell #*&*, I puked in the lunchroom, The toilet's overflowing, my dad says I don't have to, THE SNAKE IS GONE! I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy, and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the tenth day of December a student said to me, My mom thinks it's contagious, I can spell #*&*, I puked in the lunchroom, The toilet's overflowing, my dad says I don't have to, THE SNAKE IS GONE! I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy, and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the eleventh day of December a student said to me, Dad's ankle bracelet's pretty, My mom thinks it's contagious, I can spell #*&*, I puked in the lunchroom, The toilet's overflowing, my dad says I don't have to, THE SNAKE IS GONE! I forgot my homework, Bill just let a fart, my head is itchy, and sometimes my boogers are green.
On the twelfth day of December I quit!

Spelling Lessons

Mi pet peev is peeple who hav blogz or rite that can not spel. Gramer and punktuasion is one theeng...butt speleeng shud be sumtheeng that they tri hardr to git rite. Its imbarasing and it luks lik thay rnt very smart. Pleez, pruuf rede yur blogz befour u post thim. thancs.

The Oddities of Your Elderly Parents

I am aging, but I always vow that I will never become as weird or annoying as my own parents or my husband's parents. What I've been noticing however, is that even at my age my children find me extremely weird and especially annoying.
Let's start with the annoying. We'll move to the weird in a minute.
First of all, it seems the elderly have a special license to tell you things you already know and don't particularly like pointed out. My father-in-law is excellent at this.
"You need to get out and walk. The exercise will do you good. Someone as heavy (semi-polite way of saying "fat")as you needs lots of exercise. Why, I've never had an extra pound on my body." To which I sarcastically reply that I am actually trying to gain enough to be perfectly round so that I can roll everywhere I go instead of walk.
Sometimes he'd point to your teenager and say, "A good scrub with some soap and a wash cloth might help you get rid of all those pimples." (Pimples...an ugly word at best, but very damaging to someone who is well aware that they have them.)
One year, my dear mother-in-law gave my a dish cloth with a little poem attached as a helpful hint that I needed to do the dishes more often.
"Why, I'd tell her? I have a husband for that."
My mother would often walk around my house and feel the houseplants, then go get a pitcher from the kitchen and water them. (That may not sound that harsh, but you definately felt like a failure at houseplants 101.)
I can't even invite mom over for a meal without her tasting my food and her first sentence beginning with, "Have you ever tried.....I like to add.....but that's just me." (Which is an indication that yours tastes funny, bland, not like hers, or all of the above.)
Now my dad....well, he get's to cussing more when he's at a family gathering. He makes risque or naughty comments and says, "That's just who I am. If you don't like it, too bad." He especially seems to like to shock pastors and new boyfriends or girlfriends who you've been trying not to scare away too soon. Do you know the dad on Everybody Loves Raymond? That's dad. He pats his large tummy and says, "Fill her up."
Now for the weird.
My mom draws faces on the Willow Tree angels. Seriously. She said she didn't like them to not have faces..so she took a pencil and drew faces on them. Stop laughing, Jill.
Mom likes to tell off-colored jokes to people, but then feels terrible guilty about it. I tell her to either quit telling them or quit feeling guilty about it. The funny thing is, she loves to tell the jokes....but always messes up the punchline.
She also has this habit of working this puzzle in the newspaper every week so she can win money. She'll call you on the phone and say, "Can you help me with just one answer? I always ask you because you're really smart at these things."
Frustrated, I'll reply, "Okay." She'll read the puzzle to me and then I'll comment on an answer. Then she'll always say, "Okay, I have just one more to do. What's this one?" Before you know it, she has faniggled you into answering three or four of them for her.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make fun of them or show disrespect to them in any way. I love my parents and in-laws. As they age, I just worry that I will start becoming them, and my children will start to find me annoying and weird.
I already see myself becoming them, as I take the spoon from my daughter's hand to stir the soup, or add some seasonings. I've got to go now. I need to phone Jill and ask her if she'll have a boyfriend by Christmas. And speaking of Christmas, I can't seem to find the wrapping paper for my daughter-in-law's new dishrag. What's really disturbing, though,is that my faceless Willow Tree collection is starting to creep me out...oh, and by the way, have you heard the one about the farmer's daughter?

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

This says it all.

The "Richest" Person in the World

Children say and think some of the strangest things! They are quite logical and when they put two and two together....watch out!
As you know, I work as the hot lunch bookkeeper at our school. I receive payments, send out all the bills, and everything else that has to do with hot lunch.
Today, one of the first graders mother's was telling me that her son had told her that Mrs. R (me) was the richest person at the school. Questioning him further, she asked him why he believed that to be true.
In a sincere and logical explanation, he replied, "Well, Mom, when I took my lunch check to Mrs. O (his teacher's aide) she took it and gave it to Mrs. B (his teacher)and then Mrs. B took and gave it to Mrs. R (me)...so she's the richest person in the school!" Out of the mouths of babes!
Now I chuckled at this, but within minutes I realized that this little first grader had actually made a prophecy about my life!
No, my bank book and finances may not show me as the richest, but my relationships attain to this fact....I, indeed, am the richest person in the world.

Come Grow Old With Me for the Best Is Yet To Be

October 21st will be Gregg and my 3oth anniversary. It doesn't seem that long ago. A word to the wise, enjoy every moment God gives you because in a blink of an eye, time passes. Now back to my original subject. My husband is the most precious gift to me. I hear a lot of wives complain about their husbands....all their faults, all the things that they don't do, or all the irritating things that they do do....even I have been known to get a little irked at mine now and then. Well, AFTER THIRTY years I finally want to set the record straight....my husband is my soulmate. I love him with all my heart, and I sometimes worry that I'm not good enough for him. Seriously! He is the most giving, caring, sharing, humorous, loving man I know. A man of honor and integrity. A man who's word can be trusted. A man of God. A rare find, indeed. The qualities that he possesses are to be admired and imitated.
How did I luck out? I use to ask myself that question quite often until I discovered that luck had nothing to do with it....God orchestrates every area and detail of our lives and for some unknown reason, He saw fit to put us together. (I guess Gregg had to take his punishment, huh? :)) If my children have even a small portion of the happiness with their spouses that I have found with their father, they will indeed be very fortunate in their marriages. And Jill, if you look for a man like your father, you will be blessed. I can't wait to see what the next 30 years has in store for us. Come grow old with me for the best is yet to be! Happy 30th Anniversary, Gregg. I love you.

What Grandmas Do!

1. Grandmas believe you really do have superhero powers.
2. Grandmas let you eat your dessert first.
3. Grandmas let you wear your Spiderman costume all day long for 3 days in a row.
4. Grandmas amaze you by reading your mind.
5. Grandmas let you circle all the toys you want for Christmas in her brand new Penney's catalog.
6. Grandmas play Candyland with you and when you're not looking she switches the cards so she has to go clear back to the gingerbread man and you get to go clear up to the ice cream cone.
7. Grandma eats the leftover crusts from your pizza.
8. Grandmas give you quarters for the big gumball machine and the mechanical horsies.
9. Grandmas say, "It's okay, everyone has accidents," when you spill your 16 oz. soda all over her carpet.
10. Grandmas spend $6.00 to take you to a movie that you fall asleep in.
11. Grandmas have flaps of soft velvety skin that dangles from her upper arms, and she lets you sit beside her and rub it.
12. Grandmas always leave the night light on.
13. Grandmas sing silly songs, make goofy faces, and do weird things to make you laugh.
14. Grandmas love you more than the sky is high and the ocean is deep.
15. Grandmas don't have laps, at least the jolly ones don't!
16. Grandmas take time to smell the roses, look at pictures in the clouds, and count the number of legs on a spider.
17. Grandmas believe you are the smartest, prettiest, fastest, cutest, child that has ever or will ever be born.
18. Grandmas can run pretty fast when you're headed for the street!
19. Grandmas make you teddy bear shaped pancakes, let you put M & M's in your spaghetti, and let you paint her fingernails with magic markers.
20. Grandmas have all the answers to questions like why a blue gemstone has more powers for superheros than green ones, why Waldo never changes his sweater, does Spiderman's mom make him take a bath, and how does God fly when he doesn't have wings.
21. Grandmas love dandelions, cool shaped rocks, pieces of shiny glass, and handprints.
22. Grandmas don't like runny noses, dirty faces, and uncombed hair.
23. Grandmas let you order your own meal at a restaurant instead of making you split something with your little sister.
24. Grandmas are younger than you think and older than they think.
25. Grandmas believe in God, teach you how to pray, and tell you that you have nothing to be afraid of. Grandmas talk to God like they are talking to you. Grandmas know there is a God.....because she has seen Him in the faces of her grandchildren.

Seven Weird Random Things About Me

I was tagged by Gina....so here are my 7 weird/random things. I have no one to tag and wouldn't know how to do it anyway...so it dies with me. Sorry.
1. I eat my salad last-sort of like a dessert.
2. I have the rarest blood type...AB negative.
3. My senior year of high school, my friends and I had a bet going as to which of us could kiss the most boys by graduation...Unfortunately, I started dating Gregg and had to stop. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.}
4. I was voted best actress of my high school play.
5. I adore crushed ice, especially in pepsi.
6. I only had 38 classmates in my senior class, but had no clue that there was a kid named Gregg (my husband) in the same class until my Sophomore year when he came to pay me his class dues.
7. I once did the "bend and snap" for the UPS man.

Laughter: The Apathy Defeater!

And by the way, my apathy has dispursed...and my laughter has returned! See my last post.

Nights in Rodanthe, "Or However in the World You Pronounce It"

So...my sister, nephew and I went to see the movie Nights in Rodanthe. Okay...I normally love this kind of movie. Definite chick flick, romance and sad all wrapped up in one. However, this was not to be! Picture this... a couple of middle aged, menapausal women and a junior high age boy walking into this small theatre. We're early, of course, because neither of us like to be late, we get our popcorn and sit down. Now no one is in there yet, so we're talking about how hot we are in there. We're saying, really loud, "Man, it's hot in here." "I don't know if it's my hot flashes, but it is really hot in here." So this teenage projectionist boy, hear's us and goes over and turns the air conditioner up. We thank him politely, he leaves and my sister begans telling me that the worst customers are middle aged women like us. Apparently, most are very demanding and aggressive in their behavior. Imagine that! We had a good laugh about it, and settled in to watch the movie. The theatre started to fill up and this very skinny college age girl came in and sat toward the back. Two minutes later, she got up and went out again. A couple minutes past and she re-entered pulling on a hoodie sweatshirt. When she got back to her seat, she told her boyfriend it was really cold in there. Jeanne and I exchanged a mischievous look and twinkling eyes, and nearly busted out laughing. Serves those pencil children right for not getting some meat on their bones. Actually, we discussed how we could have cut off some of our extra padding and wrapped it around her for a jacket. It sure keeps us warm. That is how the evening started and it just got funnier from there. Now believe me, bringing a junior high age boy to a chick flick is probably not the smartest thing to do, but when he leaned over during Richard Gere and Diane Lane's love scene and whispered, "Repulsive...old people should never take off their clothes," Jeanne and I lost it again. It started to be a giggling fest. The more serious and sad the movie became, the harder we laughed. We couldn't even look at each other without bursting out loud. I thought I was going to have to leave the theatre because I got those terribly offensive giggles that you try to hold in for as long as you can, and then all sorts of noises squeeze from your mouth and nose. It was the most fun I've had in a really long time. The movie was lame.....but oh, it was so worth the $6.00 and buttered popcorn!

I Should Be Less Apathetic, but I Really Don't Care!

I have been worried about my apathy lately. It seems I lack any passion, concern, or emotion when it comes to just about anything. I just don't seem to give a darn, or a fig about what's going on around me, what anyone thinks, or whether or not my family cares an iota about me. Okay, the last part is definitely not true. With this pathetic wave of apathy that has descended upon me, has also come an extreme irritation at my family, and an underlying self-pity that has me on an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows. I feel unloved and unworthy of love...but at the same time, I demand and expect it without giving it. I believe I am going through a teeny tiny mid-life crisis, however, it is so tiny that it's hardly worth mentioning. I go through the motions of work, then come home to the same old, same old, and began the vicious cycle all over again the next day. "Where is the passion when you need it the most?" "I kick up the leaves and the magic is lost....." Most days are not bad...they are also not good. They are just days! Does that make any sense? I use to live in black and white...now everything is just gray. I use to say yes and no....now it's "who cares." I'm definitely in a funk....I should try to pick myself up by the bootstrap and pull myself out of it...but,....I really don't care!

Meanma Exposed!

Behind this big round Meanma mask, there is a person that none of my children or grandchildren really know. So I decided to compile a few facts about myself that will amaze, amuse, and help them get to know the person, buried deep within the folds, flaps, wrinkles, and ripples of stretched skin they think is me!
1. I once was a size 7, had long flowing hair, and all my teeth. Really.
2. I could type 40 words a minute, without any mistakes!
3. I once wrote a letter to Donny Osmond asking him to send me his free love beads. (No, he never answered, which was his loss, the little twerp)
4. I hit a kid over the head with my steel Lassie lunchpail. (That was just last week!)
5. I could rollerskate pretty darn well.
6. My most embarrassing moment was while jumping on the tramp in co-ed P.E. as my butt hit the tramp, I let one rip. (I blamed it on the popular girl in our class). Sorry, Jan!
7. I really liked Mrs. Ruble!!
8. I flirted with a peanut seller at the circus. (I bought the peanuts...I still have the old empty sack that I saved for thirty years.)(That really is pathetic.)
9. I have num chuck skills. (Okay....that one's a lie.)
10. I made my sister go on a date with a boy because his sister was my friend. (She was mean to him all night.)
11. Mom really did like me best. :)
12. I and my friend had a secret language in junior high that we could understand and no one else could. Malitchy Gablonka! (Funny, that's all I can remember now.)
13. I've actually owned 45 records, lp records, an 8-track and tapes, and a cassette player! Whooo. Whooo!
14. I have also driven a Ford Falcon and bought candy for a penny a piece!
15. I was going to name my children Jesse, Dana, and Eric Sheridan!
16. I thought money grew on trees, I was born in a barn, and life was a bowl of cherries. And even though the grass is greener on the other side....I never tried to smoke it. I realized that every dog had it's day, and that I couldn't get blood from a turnip. And I never tried to make a silk purse from a sow's ear or spit into the wind.
17. I sang songs like "Sweet and Innocent","My ding a ling", "Chewy, Chewy" and "I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, Georgie Sire, and thought it was normal!
18. I listened to bands called Three Dog Night (okay, I don't get it), singing about a bullfrog named Jeremiah, Creedence Clearwater Revival, talking about a Bad Moon on the Rise, and the Doobie Brothers. (Okay, now I know what a doobie is....then I didn't.) Seriously.
19. I ate Crispy Critters, Whip and Chill, and Shake and Bake....and I helped!
20. And I never really ever watched The Exorcist, because I plugged my ears, closed my eyes, and sang really loud so I couldn't hear it.
21. The dirtiest word I ever said was my last name :)
22. I got a ventriloquest dummy one year for Christmas....jeez I asked for stupid Christmas presents. Jeanne got a snow cone maker....I got a microsope. Jeanne got an easy bake oven...I got a rock......
23. Lawrence Welk had a singer that looked like a chicken's butt, puckering up to poop. (Okay, that was what my bald headed grandpa used to say.) If you ever watch Lawrence Welk....you'll recognize him from his "O" shaped lips.
24. My candy grandma tried to make me touch a dead person in their coffin....I refused...then she tried to make my little sister....now that was crossing the line, and I put an end to that! In other words, I can stick up for myself when I have to, but I can defend others pretty viciously if I need to.
25. I once rode a roller coaster, because I had a crush on the carnival worker....circus workers, carnies...what does that say about me....Oh, jobbies, too.
26. Billy Graham used to scare the heck out of me...Now Hillary does!
27. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times described my junior high days.
28. I used to be able to wrap my legs around my neck....now I can wrap my neck around my neck.
29. The viaduct was the scariest part of my childhood. Mr. Kuster and Mary Daniels were a close second.
30. Okay....I hate to admit that this one is part of the real me. I liked to look at accident sites....

This is just a few of the facts about the younger me....I hope you learned at least one thing you never knew. Meanma exposed!

The Department Store Clerk from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

I was shopping at a major department store yesterday and was standing in line with one stupid item for what seemed like forever when another lane opened up and I sighed with relief.
The middle-aged lady clerk very sweetly said, "I can help you over here," so I moved to her lane and set my picture frame gently on her counter. I soon realized I had made a massive mistake....but, too late. It took her a couple of minutes to punch her name into the cash register and get it ready to go. After trying to scan it with her malfunctioning gun, she shook it a few times, then moved on to the other scanner. I thought she was pretty slow, but hey, I was the first one in line. That was my second mistake. Slow, was definately not an apt description for her. Her mouth ran a thousand miles per minute, as I would soon discover.
"Oh, my, I thought it was working," she sighed as she ran my picture frame over the scanner on the counter. She looked me in the eye, smiled sweetly, and said, "Would you like to use your (name of store) card?"
"No, thank you." I aswered politely. Can't fault a clerk for doing her job, right? Third mistake!
"You do have a (store) card?" she asked in a question.
"No," I replied, wanting just to get out of there, as my knee and legs were killing me from a day of shopping.
"Would you like to apply for one?"
"No, thank you." I replied in a slightly annoyed voice.
"You can save 20 percent off of your purchase if you would like to apply."
Who was this woman? Did she not take no for an answer.
"It only takes you a minute. I have the application right here. You can even use it as a savings card, get the discount, and pay for the purchases anyway," she kept persisting.
"That's, uhmmm, interesting," I answered.
"It's getting close to Christmas. It would sure come in handy on all your Christmas purchases. It really will save you a lot."
By now, I was seriously annoyed. I wanted to pull her flapping lip over her head and make her disappear.
"You realize you could save 20 percent on this picture frame right now if you used our card."
Good grief....she had to be making a commission off of getting applications. She was really getting pushy. My blood pressure was rising, and I wanted to run out of there, but she still held on to my picture frame as she talked. Did she think I was an idiot???? Who in their right mind would apply for a card to get 20 percent off of one item? If I wanted to do that, I would have filled my cart to the brim with items and taken the 20 percent. Just give me my stinking frame that says Live, Laugh, Love on it and let me go home! Ironically, I wasn't loving right now, and I definately wasn't laughing.
I really believe if she would have asked me one more time, I would have yelled "Are you deranged, woman? What part of no do you not understand!!!!" Instead, I gritted my teeth, nodded, and took the bag she extended to me.
"Have a nice day!" her voice trailed behind me.
I bet she never even saw the steam that spouted from my ears and I know she never heard the names I called her under my breath.
That was my final mistake!

Orthorexia

I was watching 20/20 the other night and happened to tune in to an episode that really got my attention. It was talking about orthorexia. I had not heard of such a thing, however, it really made me sit up and listen. Orthorexia is an obsession with healthy food or a "fixation on righteous eating." When healthfood junkies progress to the point where it crowds out other activities and interests, impairs relationships, and even becomes physically dangerous, then it might be a true eating disorder. Now this concerned me a little. My daughter and son-in-law are very health conscious (which can be a good thing) but it also worried me a little. What starts out as a relatively good thing, could turn into something very dangerous. Eating healthy is a good thing, right? However, when it begins to take over your life, there could be a problem. Here are some questions that you may ask yourself to see if you are just health conscious, or may have a serious problem.

Do you wish that occasionally you could just eat, and not think about whether it's good for you? Has your diet made you socially isolated? Is it impossible to imagine going through a whole day without paying attention to your diet, and just living and loving? Does it sound beyond your ability to eat a meal prepared with love by your mother-one single meal-and not try to control what she serves you? Do you have trouble remembering that love, and joy and play and creativity are more important than food? Have you gotten your weight so low that people think you may have anorexia?

According to Dr. Steven Bratman, if you recognize yourself in these questions, you might have orthorexia.

Coming from a family that centers their life, activities, holidays, and pleasure around food, I believe there is reason to believe that food obsession could be a problem in my family. I thought I understood most of the problems associated with food. Overeating, Bulemia, Anorexia. But this one seems even scarier. How can they get "healthy" when they keep eating healthier and healthier food, until there is nothing left healthy enough to eat!

The Heck with Tech!

My computer cussed at me today! Seriously, it really did. I was opening one of my documents and instead, it had my document covered with little stars, symbols, and cussy signs. It's kind of funny actually, that I work with computers everyday....I am even knowledgable enough to help others fix their little computer glitches....but today, when it spewed out it's nasty little symbols, I was clueless. I sat and stared at the screen, then figured I just had a ton load more of work to do to get everything back the way it was suppose to be. I actually laughed! My day had already started out hectic, and now my computer was telling me that it had had enough, too. I laughed then. It wasn't quite as funny when my co-worker, came down, pushed the paragraph symbol, and everything was back to normal. I felt pretty stupid, which was exactly what I think my computer wanted me to feel like! I swear, it has a mind of it's own....and if you forget to baby it once in awhile....well, it gets great pleasure in letting you know who really is boss. And it wasn't me!

Apron Strings

It's funny how God binds a mother to her child at birth and the literal umbical cord becomes symbolic of being tied to your mother's apron strings. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The invisable bond between a mother and her newborn...impossible to break, and yet, as the newborn becomes a young adult, the child demands it's severing. Something that is nearly impossible for the mother, can be done quite easily by the child, with the clip clip of the scissors. My mother use to tell me that a mother loves her children, more than her children love her, and I don't think I really believed it, until I became a mother. I know that's the way God planned it. Mothers are suppose to raise their children to make them strong and independent so that they can leave their nest and make their own lives. But...it's so hard......when you're the mother!
I can still remember when my children were young enough to think I was awesome! They weren't embarrassed by me when their friends came around! They thought I could do anything! Just take it to mom...she could fix it. Tell mom...she'll know what to do! They'd look at me with their big, round eyes full of love and admiration, crawl on my lap, kiss my cheek, or hug my neck, and say I love you, mommy. Yes, that lasted about .....hhmmmm....maybe 3 hours! But, a mother's pride in her children, well, somehow that lasts longer! When I hovered around them during their teenage years, things changed. Their big, round eyes, full of love, suddenly became big, rolling eyes of annoyance. the hugs became shrugged away, and their I love you's became mumbled afterthoughts of "love you, too." Somehow, those apron strings had elastisized and were stretching to the point that if they weren't severed soon, they would become giant slingshots that catapulted them into the forbidden utopia of freedomland. And they seemed to sense this. They had freedomland in their sights and there was no turning back. Now they seemed driven by the idea that mom was losing her grip on them, and they couldn't wait for that day. Now don't get me wrong...they still needed me.....(for a car, for some money, for making unpleasant phone calls when cars broke down, and don't forget, they needed their clothes washed and their bellies fed). That started to be the hard part for me. I still treated them like my baby, but I kept telling them to grow up!!! Well, that's just what they are trying to do! But a mom goes from being everything, to not being needed in a few short years, and no one ever teaches her how to deal with that. And while they are trying desparately to cut the apron strings, mom's holding on to them for dear life. She's even trying to tie them up with them! Ha! This tiny baby that she fell in love with, bathed, fed, diapered, taught, trained, laughed with, cried with, hurt with, well...it needed her. But this college age child...well...they just didn't need her as much any more. I assume this is where a lot of midlife crisis begin.....the realization that you have lived fifty years of your life for your children and now your job is done....and you don't really know who you are, what's important to you, and what you're going to do to fill the time that you had reserved for them. It's a happy time for the child.....it's a hard time for the parent. My youngest sometimes wonders why I spend so much time and energy thinking about her love life, her relationships, and who or what she's involved with....I guess I can honestly say that I think my job as a mother will never be complete until I can turn her over to somebody else. She marries and they live happily ever after....and I'll know I did a good job. That's what I think..at least, that's what I tell her...

Still Crazy after All These Years

Well...I guess you're never too old to learn how to blog...and I never thought my children or grandchildren would hear me admitting to it! It worries me a little to have someone ask..."What did you do today!" and I smile slyly, a little embarrassed, and tell them, "I blogged."

Heaven forbid, my pastor finds out that life after 50 can still involve an occasional blog now and then. Just the word itself conjures up all kinds of daring and provacative images of titilating adventures, and I feel a little giddy thinking that I, a 50 year old grandmother from rural Nebraska, am still capable of a good blog! So, with that said, I am going to get back up on the old bicycle, and give it a good try. Blogging, that is! After all, I'm still crazy enough to try it.....I just hope I'm not too old to remember how!