Monday, March 30, 2009

Then Comes the Morning

It is 5:00 am on a Monday morning and I am fighting the flu. I've had two and a half days of coughing, fever, and aching headache, haven't slept for a couple of days and on top of that another winter storm warning is predicted with blowing snow and blizzard like conditions...still...I am alive and well. I'm beginning to understand that "Momma said there'd be days like this" and this happens to be one of those days. But, I can hold fast to the promise that "this too shall pass." There is a song that reminds us that even though it can get pretty dark and miserable...then comes the morning! Hope is always found in the morning! After every dark time in our lives...the hope is found in the coming light just around the corner. When things are especially gloomy, or you're exhausted, or sick, or in mourning, or whatever curveball life has thrown at you...there is light at the end of the tunnel. All the cliches that have ever been written are true. "It's just around the corner"....our hope may be found in the LIGHT! When our hope begins to fade under the shroud of darkness, and you feel there is no end to your'll slowly begin to see that the blackest darkness begins to fade to a dull gray, and the dull gray begins to soften the shadows that were so discouraging before and you begin to see the shapes of the objects that held you captive in your darkness, but in a blink of an eye.....Then comes the morning!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

25 Thrilling Things to Do After the Age of 50

1. Learn sign language. (This is usually taught to you by passing motorists as you drive 35 miles an hour on the highway.)
2. Sit in the mall and pick a new spouse for your mate. This also relieves tension by discovering that there are weirder people than you out there.
3. Guess what kind of underwear the people in the mall are wearing. (This sometimes is too easy to do.)
4. Instead of reading the newest novel, read people's tattoos. (You may not want to do this with your grandchildren along, however.)
5. Count the age spots on your hands and arms. (If you reach more than fifty, you win)
6. Eat at Arby's.
7. Watch Dancing With the Stars. (This is the new Lawrence Welk)
8. Try on a bikini thong. If you get it up to your calf, celebrate.
9. Clip your mates toenails. To really have fun, let them clip yours, also.
10. Practice pulling the hairs out of your chin without a mirror.
11. Stay awake past 8:00 pm. Live dangerously!
12. Take your dentures out of your mouth and make them talk to you like a handpuppet. (This is probably not a good idea if you have company or if your are at the dinner table.)
13. Have knitting needle sword fights.
14. Eat black licorice or red velvet cake and check the color of your stool the next morning.
15. Read the obituaries for ideas.
16. Go to Branson.
17. Write all your Christmas cards in September.
18. Make a list of all the doctors, nurses and health care people you know on a first name basis. Write them all Christmas cards in September.
19. Call all your children and grandchildren by a different name. (This really gets them as they think you don't know what you're doing)
20. Copy the obituaries of your old dead friends and make sure all your children receive a copy. (They should remember them and care, right?)
21. Collect real life horror stories to share with everyone at appropriate times, like the time a microphone fell into the baptismal and electricuted everyone. (A good source for these is the national news, Dr. Phil, and Oprah.)
22. Practice singing loudly and often, substituting words and phrases you don't remember.
23. Play bumper cars with the riding shopping carts in Walmart. (Be sure to say excuse me, though)
24. Hide the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle your spouse is putting together so you can put in the last piece!
25. Make a list of 25 thrilling things you can do after the age of 50.