Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Department Store Clerk from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

I was shopping at a major department store yesterday and was standing in line with one stupid item for what seemed like forever when another lane opened up and I sighed with relief.
The middle-aged lady clerk very sweetly said, "I can help you over here," so I moved to her lane and set my picture frame gently on her counter. I soon realized I had made a massive mistake....but, too late. It took her a couple of minutes to punch her name into the cash register and get it ready to go. After trying to scan it with her malfunctioning gun, she shook it a few times, then moved on to the other scanner. I thought she was pretty slow, but hey, I was the first one in line. That was my second mistake. Slow, was definately not an apt description for her. Her mouth ran a thousand miles per minute, as I would soon discover.
"Oh, my, I thought it was working," she sighed as she ran my picture frame over the scanner on the counter. She looked me in the eye, smiled sweetly, and said, "Would you like to use your (name of store) card?"
"No, thank you." I aswered politely. Can't fault a clerk for doing her job, right? Third mistake!
"You do have a (store) card?" she asked in a question.
"No," I replied, wanting just to get out of there, as my knee and legs were killing me from a day of shopping.
"Would you like to apply for one?"
"No, thank you." I replied in a slightly annoyed voice.
"You can save 20 percent off of your purchase if you would like to apply."
Who was this woman? Did she not take no for an answer.
"It only takes you a minute. I have the application right here. You can even use it as a savings card, get the discount, and pay for the purchases anyway," she kept persisting.
"That's, uhmmm, interesting," I answered.
"It's getting close to Christmas. It would sure come in handy on all your Christmas purchases. It really will save you a lot."
By now, I was seriously annoyed. I wanted to pull her flapping lip over her head and make her disappear.
"You realize you could save 20 percent on this picture frame right now if you used our card."
Good grief....she had to be making a commission off of getting applications. She was really getting pushy. My blood pressure was rising, and I wanted to run out of there, but she still held on to my picture frame as she talked. Did she think I was an idiot???? Who in their right mind would apply for a card to get 20 percent off of one item? If I wanted to do that, I would have filled my cart to the brim with items and taken the 20 percent. Just give me my stinking frame that says Live, Laugh, Love on it and let me go home! Ironically, I wasn't loving right now, and I definately wasn't laughing.
I really believe if she would have asked me one more time, I would have yelled "Are you deranged, woman? What part of no do you not understand!!!!" Instead, I gritted my teeth, nodded, and took the bag she extended to me.
"Have a nice day!" her voice trailed behind me.
I bet she never even saw the steam that spouted from my ears and I know she never heard the names I called her under my breath.
That was my final mistake!

1 comment:

TD Ozzo said...

Holy cow... that story is hilarious!! Tell me who the lady is so I can yell at her for you. hahaha. I'm still laughing. Nice to know other people have problems like this.