Thursday, August 2, 2012

Pet Flies and Singing Toilets

It's been a long couple of weeks! It seems that no rain, ever-over-the hundreds heat, and crappy health issues are plaguing our house. So maybe a little dose of humor at my expense is in order. After a Sunday night of a self imposed anxiety attack believing I was having a heart attack created enough fear and doubt in me, I decided it was time to go to the doctor....rather than the emergency room. Thus began all of the tests and crap that go along with it. My EKG was normal, but doctor ordered a stress test next. He actually thinks it is sleep apnea...not my heart....but thus another test. Now, I have been walking on the treadmill so was familiar with that....but again fear set in. I had heard horror stories about people dropping over dead from that test. Of course, when I got in there, my blood pressure skyrocketed. I had been walking on my treadmill at a .5 incline. They were going to start me out at a ten. Ha Ha Ha. Are you serious? I did great on the test and passed with flying colors, however I now have to take 2 little blood pressure pills a day. Monday night, I go in for my sleep apnea test...It sort of creeps me out to think about all these people sitting around watching you sleep....I mean, what if I scratch something that itches....what if I pick my nose....or pass gas...or some other horribly embarrassing thing.....for goodness sake....WHAT IF I TALK OUTLOUD IN MY SLEEP...I mean, I have some WEIRD dreams. On top of everything else, I have developed this hacking cough that will not go away! I sound like I should be going to a tuberculosis ward. They will have some fun with the squeals, squeaks, and sounds that come out of my throat now. I'll sound like an orchestra with all my vocal and other bodily instruments! Then, Gregg finally made a doctor appointment for his atrial fibrillation. It seems his heart decided to go for the finish line. It had to be bad for HIM to call the doctor himself. Doctor wasn't impressed with the speedy little devil and sent him to get a cardiogram today. They couldn't even get an appropriate reading because they couldn't get his heart down under the 95 beats. His was going 120 some continually, even in a restful state. Doctor said he was a stroke waiting to happen and put him on the same blood pressure medicine they gave me....also put him on Warfarin....which he is not impressed about. Hopefully, we'll know more on Monday, if not before. He's been living with this for 12 years now, but the last couple it is become continual, not just once in awhile. Wolff Parkinson White syndrome runs in his family, so hopefully he can have the ablation (sort of surgery) to fix it like his brother, nephew and niece did. We are also in the process of ripping up our carpet, as the carpet layers are coming tomorrow. Furniture is piled in all the other rooms, and it's like a safari to get to the kitchen. So.....after all this.....I decided a nice warm soaking bath in a dark bathroom sounded amazing.....I got the water nice and deep, nice and hot and poured in some aches and pains soothing oil and crawled in for a peaceful stress free time in the tub. Right??? Ha Ha Ha! Don't be absurd. That would be too easy. As I just got settled in.... a tiny little kamikazee fly decided to give me some company. He dive bombed me buzzing in my ear then landed on me long enough to illicit a flapping of my hands to shoo him away. This continued for the next five minutes with him skating on my exposed flesh while I tried to kill him. Why is it that a single fly can create such havoc with two invisible feet and an annoying buzz? He had just left me alone for 2 seconds when my singing toilet decided to give me a personal concert. It started warming up it's voice with a low continual whining tone, than increased it's pitch to a shrill shrieking shrew. It's been doing this lately....maybe it just wants someone to pay attention to it....give it a little pat on the lid, and a friendly handle shake. But, seriously.....does it need to serenade me while I'm trying to relax in the peace and quiet of a dark room and warm tub? It of course, would not shut up until I jumped out of the tub dripping wet and shook it's hand! I decided that I really didn't sweat the big things very trust is in God for those things.....But those small irritating things did not set well with me! Someone looking in would have thought I was a crazy lady...flapping the air, yelling and shaking the handle of a toilet telling it to SHUT UP! I think I need to chill....oh, by the way....the toilet is singing again as I type this. I might as well join it. Oh solo mi oh! Where did my pet fly go??

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