Gregg and the Flaming Cow Kabobs

So yesterday after I got home from work and was reading my facebook, I could hear my husband enter the house. I was excited to show him the 42 inch flat screen television set I had been admiring on the internet and thought it might be a good time to drop a few hints and "fire" him up about the approaching Christmas season. As I heard his footsteps approach the computer room the smell of a woodburning stove greeted my nostrils. I began sniffing the air like Smokey the Bear. Hubby stood in the doorway with a bewildered look on his face. I said, "Honey...come look as this tv I've been looking at." Sniff, Sniff. "Have you been burning garbage? You don't smell too hot. (notice the irony of this statement)! Hubby replied, "It's a long story." He had my attention now. I turned to give him my full attention. Our conversation could have gone something like this:
Me: So what happened?
Hubby: Well, I have some good news for you.
Me: What's the good new?
Hubby: Well, my cattle hauling trailer is finally fixed. Our naighbor got it welded and it's right on time to haul the cattle we will be selling on Friday.
Me: That is good news.
Hubby: No, that's the bad news. When I went to use it the bottom of the trailer was so slick, my cows slid all over the place.
Me: Whoa! That is bad news.
Hubby: No that's the good news. The straw I put down in the trailer helped them stay on their feet.
Me: That's good news.
Hubby: No, that was bad news. As I was driving down the road with a load of cattle, I could see smoke pouring out of the back of the trailer. I had to stop and see what was burning.
Me: That is bad news.
Hubby: No, that's good news. It was just the hay in the bottom of the trailer that was on fire NOT my cows.
Me: THAT's good news.
Hubby: No. That's bad news. The flames were leaping between the legs of the cows and was burning the hairs off of their legs and bellies.
Me: That is bad news.
Hubby: No that's the good news. The smell of cooking beef steaks made me hungry so I worked a lot faster.
Me: That is good news.
Hubby: No...that's the bad news. When I tried to stomp it all out, I kicked the hay out onto the grass prairie and it started the prairie on fire.
Me: Oh my goodness! That is terrible news.
Hubby: No. That's the good news. I had the fire out in the trailer!
Me: Well, that was good news.
Hubby: No that was the bad news. I had no cell phone, no one around to help me and the fire was starting to spread.
Me: That is bad news.
Hubby: That's the good news. I had my good stomping boots on so I was quickly able to put the prairie fire out.
Me: That's good news.
Hubby: No, that's the bad news. When I looked back in the trailer, there was ten inch flames springing up again. The cows were beginning to think they would become beef kabobs after all.
Me: That IS bad news.
Hubby: No. That's the good news. I was working so hard to put out the flames, I never had time to let those cows out of that trailer.
Me: That's good news.
Hubby: No...that's the bad news. If it snows, I won't be able to get those cows to the sale barn anyway! What really irritates me though is that the day was so hectic, I NEVER did have any time to enjoy me a good barbecued beef steak...!

And so you get the picture of a day in the life of my hubby. He did get the fire put out. His cows were all okay. He didn't destroy the trailer. He's healthy and safe.....that's the good news!
Now for the bad news....that's a NORMAL day!

A Date with Death

We all have an appointment that we will have to keep someday, an appointment not one of us will be able to get out of. No matter how hard we try, it is impossible to escape our date with "Death". Most of the time we picture "death" with a dark hooded cape...no eyes...bony fingers beckoning to us from beyond. I personally would like to picture him like Andrew on Touched By an Angel....a blond, hunk with a boyish grin that takes me by the hand and leads me through the light.
As we age...that date begans to dog at our heals. Our bodies begin to slow down and we can feel death's hot breath on the back of our neck. We start seeing signs that he's beginning to get interested in us. He leaves little notes all over the place. Now if you're in your twenties, you probably can't relate...but if you're my age (more than halfway through life) you can. :0)
I've been thinking about this subject quite a bit lately. Life happens and you lose some people you love. It often causes you to stop and ponder the things in life that you haven't dealt with before. So I have come up with a few questions that I think we need to stop and ask ourselves long before we have to go on this "date".
1. How can I get out of this appointment or '"date"? (Sorry...it ain't gonna happen!)
2. Where does he take me on this "date"?
3. Who's paying for this "date"?
4. Who's stupid idea was this any way?

Well, I think I'll start with the last question first. Would you believe me if I told you that the stupid idea began with you? We were meant to live forever in a perfect setting, in a perfect world. But man wanted to do things his own way...thus, disobedience in the Garden. Ecclesiastes 7:2 states, "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart."
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23
Which brings me to question number 3. Who's paying for this "date"?
Well, guess what? God paid for this "date" himself. "He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification." Romans 4:28 Christ Jesus...who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel." 2 Timothy 1:10.
In other words, though we still have to make our appointment with death...we never have to die!!! Do you get this? "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the SHADOW of death.." Death has become a shadow....not a reality for us anymore. Shadows are not real. They have no substance. Likewise...death has no substance. It is like passing through a door. Christ has conquered our fear of death. Death will have been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" 1 Corinthians 15:54-55.
Now for the question, "Where does he take me on this "date"?
Okay, this is where I have to tell you what God himself says...."What I think....or what I believe do not count when we are talking about eternity and where you will spend it. Everyone has a lot of beliefs on the subject of heaven...but I guess the only one that matters is what is the truth. All we have to understand what this truth is, is the Word of God, Jesus Christ. And Jesus states this in John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth and the life. NO ONE comes to the Father except through me." Over and over in Matthew, Jesus starts His sentences with the phrase "I tell you the truth..."
God offers us a gift...eternal life. But that gift comes with a very steep price...the shed blood of Jesus Christ alone. It's a gift that has been completed for everyone (though many choose not to accept it)....but to receive the benefits...you HAVE to accept it. You can't leave it on the table unopened and expect to get to use it the day of your appointed "date" with death like a get out of jail free card.
There is a heaven waiting after death. And it is more real than this life you walk around in right now. But there is a hell, also. And it's more real than you ever care to think about, either.
Revelation 20: 15 sadly states, "If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire."
For some....the Date with Death will come when you are not expecting it. But...it will come. But for those who have accepted the one who paid for our "date" there is no longer any thing to fear. It will be a "date" that we look forward to.
1 Corinthians 15:26 says, The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
Are you ready for your date?

Am I Really a Mafia Gangster?????

I sometimes think there needs to be a reteaching of common sense again for our own protection. Let me explain. I enjoy writing my blogs and reading other blogs. It is an opportunity to express my views, my opinions, my lifestyle. I check my facebook often and enjoy the ability to have contact with all my "facebook friends", but I must admit that there are times when I don't think I really realize how many people might read what I've written. I believe we are definately leaving an impression of ourselves, a heartbeat of who or what we are and who or what we love on the pages of time for the world to view. Sometimes it may be accurate, but other times it might falsly represent us or be inaccurately interpreted. I view what I write somewhat like a journal...a place to express myself and what I am feeling or doing at any given time. If I write that my favorite music is Lawrence Welk style (God forbid) than the reader can assume that I like Lawrence Welk music, right? If I post pictures of myself...I can assume that people will look at them.
So I asked myself a question. If my facebook account was the only way anyone would ever really know anything at all about me....am I representing myself accurately and expressing who I really am? Would I give people reason to question my trustworthiness?? my character??? my beliefs???
I was watching Dr. Phil the other day, and he was saying how many workplaces actually use Facebook, My Space, and the such to learn more about applicant's that have applied for a job with their companies. Would my facebook pages make me a good candidate for a job? Would I be embarrased by anything I had posted? What would my pastor think? My boss? My parents? My in-laws? I know...it's just about fun, right? I guess I'm just saying that people will still take what I write and form some kind of opinion or thoughts about me. Maybe I should think for a moment, use common sense before I write...not everything I think, believe, or do was meant to be expressed or shared with the world.

Seven Days Without Laughter Makes One Weak

I can't imagine my life without humor. I am also amazed at how funny the world we live in really is. I'm especially amused at the wonderful sense of humor God has the older I get. I've tried to make a list of everyday situations that I find humorous. If you do not enjoy a good laugh, DO NOT do anything on the following list.

1. Sit in one of those carry-in-a-bag lawn chairs. They do not have stable arm rests to use as support, soooo how is anyone ever suppose to get out of them again?? Believe me...I tried. It was NOT a pretty sight. They cradle you like a beached whale sling. I had to call for recruits to hoist me out. By the way, thanks Taylor!

2. Put on pantyhose. Any woman who has tried to squeeze her belly and butt into a pair of these knows what I am talking about. You have to have a sense of humor and at least a couple of hours to try to get these on. The dancing, squirming, prodding, folding, stuffing and wiggling that goes on is worth a good laugh. But take my word for it....you don't want to have to go to the bathroom once you're stuffed into them or you'll NEVER get them back on in one of those little stalls!

3. Give grandchildren pony rides. I repeat....DO NOT try to do anything on all fours with a kid on your back.

4. Leave a dollar tip for your waitress. Although your generosity might make you all giggly, you'll discover that she does NOT have that great a sense of humor.

5. Look in the motel mirror as you're getting out of the bathtub. Why in the name of God do they put mirrors there? Does anyone look that good naked? You definately need a sense of humor for that...a blindfold doesn't hurt, either. Nuff said!

6. Have a mammogram. You have to find some humor in it. If putting on the stinking gown isn't enough, ironing your private parts into flat pancakes will do the trick.

7. A holiday sale. There is always something funny about a group of psychotic women, standing outside a locked door, waiting to claw and shove their way in for a free cookie or snowglobe. Take time to enjoy the fear in the door unlocker's eyes as you realize the one and only free snowglobe was just handed to the pushy woman in front of you! Yes, there was ONE woman in front of you. Pushy broad!

8. Pictures of yourself. Mouth opened, shoveling food into your mouth...bending over to pick up something, hair standing on end, unflattering clothing, you might as well laugh....your children certainly are :)

9. Forgetfulness. You head for the bathroom, but before you get halfway there you forgot why you were going....oh, well, by then it's too late!

10. A remote control fart machine. NEVER get your 8 year old grandson the only thing he ever wanted for his birthday. It will definately come back to haunt you :-)

Seriously, don't take life that way! Have a good heartfelt laugh at your own expense. You'll be ever so glad you did.

My Life's Story

I noticed that I hadn't written a blog since June...what does that say about me? Am I too busy...do I have nothing important to say...I know that just isn't true because I just reread some of my older blogs and believe me...I have plenty to say :)
I think that sometimes it's just really difficult to be that transparent with people. We care sooo much about what others think that we are afraid to show our vulnerable side. I've discovered that not everyone will like what you write...not everyone will appreciate or even "get" what you write...but maybe someone will know you or understand you just a little bit better by reading your blogs.
My life is a book...not always open...but full of tidbits of useful information to those who take the time to read it or even misread it.

My life is a story, a wide open book,
Peer into my pages and take a good look.
Some chapters are happy and others are sad.
They'll reveal alot of the life I have had.
Some pages are fragile, so handle with care.
Those chapters expose me and lay my life bare.
The good and the bad and the ugly are seen,
The times I was kind and the times I was mean.
Child or mother, and also a wife,
They are chapters and pages of my story's life.
If you choose to read me, you'll have to embrace,
The story unfolding, so give me some grace.
I look forward to reading all of your stories, too,
For that is the way I will get to know you.
And in reading each page, understanding will flow,
And our love for each other's life story will grow.

I appreciate that you find my thoughts, writings, and blogs worth your time. Thank you to all my readers. I love being entrusted with your friendship and your life's story, also.

I Am a Rock, I Am an Island

I've discovered the world of Facebook and find it very interesting and sometimes a little sad...It is so amazing that we can have the world at the tips of our fingertips and in a split second we can keep up on what our friends and aquaintances are doing at a moments notice. To be able to access people we don't get to see every day and to be able to post pictures and express ourselves to others in a very safe way is wonderful. The possibilities are endless. It can appear as if we have hundreds and thousands of "friends" when in actuallity, some of them barely even know us or care about us. Thus, comes the sad part. Even though we can learn very intimate, or deep things about a person, maybe even a truer self than they display in person...it is so "safe". We never have to see the person face to face...we can answer them if we choose to or ignore them if we want, and they don't even get their feelings hurt, because they don't know it. We can know they're feeling sad...yet we can't talk to them face to face to really get to know them or understand them. We can draw little smiley faces or little frown faces, but the recipient at the other end never really knows the extent of those simple drawings. We can type LOL...but know one gets to appreciate or enjoy the sound of that laughter. We are uniting ourselves with the whole universe, yet isolating ourselves away from life at the same time. We are trying to communicate without voices, ears, eyes, and touch. We are texting, (No human voices) in abbreviations that take seconds to send. There isn't much distinction between what I "text" to my lover or what I "text" to my enemy. We don't hear the words I love you and distinguish whether their voice is telling you it means "you're my friend", or "I love you like I love my computer or an ice cream cone, or even "I want to marry you." I miss reading the real message people are sending with their body language...their eyes...are they sincere or are they lying to you. Technology is a brilliant tool...but I'm afraid we are creating a generation of people who will become as the Simon and Garfunkel song says, "I am a rock...I am an island." I hope we don't forget how badly we need each other...not just in a little square box that sits on our desks...or in the little cellular tool we carry around in our pockets....but in a real face to face physical way. I think technology makes it so much easier....we don't have to become involved or have the inconvenience of others intruding on our "own" time. Sounds a little selfish and self-centered to me...You might even disagree with my philosophy....but it really doesn't matter...I can delete what you think in a touch of a button and continue to delight and revel in the intelligence and wisdom found within the ramblings of my own "blogging...texting...and facebooking." And a rock feels no pain.....and an island never cries......

I Am.....His!

My daughter Jill just posted an I Am poem for her college class and I thought her's was amazing. It inspired me to try my own.

I am a faithful, compassionate, child of the king.
I wonder why God has chosen to lavish upon me His unmerited favor.
I hear unwritten symphonies in the laughter of His children.
I see His unfinished masterpieces on the tablets of each human heart.
I want to appreciate the moments, shine like a beacon, and leave a hard to replace void when I'm gone.
I am a faithful, compassionate, child of the king.

I pretend to be worthy of His love and the love of others.
I feel fear at the prospect of unveiling the "Real Me" to anyone.
I touch my world warily, holding back involvement, not risking exposure.
I worry that I am unlovable.
I cry at the injustice of a crucified Jesus rejected and denied by a world that He sat free.
I am a faithful, compassionate, child of the king.

I understand that our days are but a breath in the scheme of eternity.
I say I will make my life count and have meaning.
I dream of the moment that He looks into my eyes and says, "Well done, my good and faithful child."
I hope that my family, friends, and co-workers will hear those words, too.
I am a faithful, compassionate, child of the king.