Sunday, August 9, 2009

Seven Days Without Laughter Makes One Weak

I can't imagine my life without humor. I am also amazed at how funny the world we live in really is. I'm especially amused at the wonderful sense of humor God has the older I get. I've tried to make a list of everyday situations that I find humorous. If you do not enjoy a good laugh, DO NOT do anything on the following list.

1. Sit in one of those carry-in-a-bag lawn chairs. They do not have stable arm rests to use as support, soooo how is anyone ever suppose to get out of them again?? Believe me...I tried. It was NOT a pretty sight. They cradle you like a beached whale sling. I had to call for recruits to hoist me out. By the way, thanks Taylor!

2. Put on pantyhose. Any woman who has tried to squeeze her belly and butt into a pair of these knows what I am talking about. You have to have a sense of humor and at least a couple of hours to try to get these on. The dancing, squirming, prodding, folding, stuffing and wiggling that goes on is worth a good laugh. But take my word for don't want to have to go to the bathroom once you're stuffed into them or you'll NEVER get them back on in one of those little stalls!

3. Give grandchildren pony rides. I repeat....DO NOT try to do anything on all fours with a kid on your back.

4. Leave a dollar tip for your waitress. Although your generosity might make you all giggly, you'll discover that she does NOT have that great a sense of humor.

5. Look in the motel mirror as you're getting out of the bathtub. Why in the name of God do they put mirrors there? Does anyone look that good naked? You definately need a sense of humor for that...a blindfold doesn't hurt, either. Nuff said!

6. Have a mammogram. You have to find some humor in it. If putting on the stinking gown isn't enough, ironing your private parts into flat pancakes will do the trick.

7. A holiday sale. There is always something funny about a group of psychotic women, standing outside a locked door, waiting to claw and shove their way in for a free cookie or snowglobe. Take time to enjoy the fear in the door unlocker's eyes as you realize the one and only free snowglobe was just handed to the pushy woman in front of you! Yes, there was ONE woman in front of you. Pushy broad!

8. Pictures of yourself. Mouth opened, shoveling food into your mouth...bending over to pick up something, hair standing on end, unflattering clothing, you might as well laugh....your children certainly are :)

9. Forgetfulness. You head for the bathroom, but before you get halfway there you forgot why you were going....oh, well, by then it's too late!

10. A remote control fart machine. NEVER get your 8 year old grandson the only thing he ever wanted for his birthday. It will definately come back to haunt you :-)

Seriously, don't take life that way! Have a good heartfelt laugh at your own expense. You'll be ever so glad you did.


Debbie said...

LOL! I laughed through your whole blog, I miss your humor.

Meanma said...

Thank you, Deb. I miss you, too.