Thursday, March 10, 2011
Happy Birthday, Gregg
Today is my husband's 53rd birthday! It passed without any fanfare, celebration or good wishes. I gave him a card and wished him happy birthday the minute I woke up, but in the business of life....that's it...Later, after supper, I realized that none of the kids had called....I asked him if it bothered him and he said, "Life is too short to get worked up about something like that." But it bothered ME. Let me explain...
My husband has always had to share his birthday. Gregg was born on his dad's birthday. When he was little, it was probably a nice thing. Two birthday cakes, shared parties, happy times.
But, I guess, I've always thought birthdays should be a little special. You deserve one day a year to feel like a king. I always felt sorry for kids whose birthdays landed on holidays...Christmas, Thanksgiving, even Valentine's Day when everyone else got to celebrate, too. I was always really glad that I had my day to myself. I like being the center of attention. Gregg, on the other hand, doesn't seem to mind. I guess it makes it easier to just pass through the day without giving some love, thought and attention to him. But it doesn't make it right.
Then in 1978, he married me....and guess what? My mom's birthday is on the day before his. Yeah! Now the attention is spent on her the day before, and again...no special day for Gregg! And because he doesn't seem to care, we always celebrate her birthday....with his as an afterthought.
Tonight, as I thought about the injustice of shared birthdays (okay, injustice sounds a bit harsh, however, any way you look at it, it still sucks) it made me really sad. I had made birthday cake last night, invited all the family over for supper, and celebrated mom's 72nd birthday. Jordan had also brought Gregg a tie, which he opened AFTER mom had opened her gifts....AND....not even on HIS birthday, but hers. I think he might have gotten one birthday card and a couple of, "Oh, yeah, happy birthday to you, too, Gregg's". And I thought....man, that really bites!
I know love isn't determined by whether or not someone remembers your birthday, but, maybe...just maybe....we all get a little lax about putting ourselves out a little bit and thinking of others a little more than ourselves. Gregg deserves a birthday of his own and at the very least a birthday call from his own children would have been nice. I shed a couple of tears for this invisible, selfless, giving man, who everyone takes for granted and nobody much notices. I didn't even make him a peanut butter pie.
I guess what I am really spouting about is that maybe we should try harder to appreciate and love the people in our lives that do so much for us. Maybe it didn't hurt him as much as it hurt me.....and thank God life is too short to get upset over forgotten phone calls and birthday wishes....
But, I want you to know, Gregg, that I love you and think you deserve to be treated like a king....Happy Birthday, Gregg! Next year will be different!