Thursday, January 20, 2011

January--The Month of My Discontentment

January brings with it a cold, wintery attitude that I have always disliked. It makes you rethink and analyze. It makes you restless and discontent. It brings with it the ugly reality of fleeting time and impending taxes.
I have never cared for January. It is a long month of cold, icy moments. I'm not your typically depressed sort of person, although I do tend toward pessimism and negativity, however, January is the month where I battle my mind...I have to fight to keep upbeat and there are moments when I just lose it. All of the ugly tendencies I've buried resurface and make their appearance in January.
January is like a fickle, nagging woman. She exists to make your life miserable. And to challenge the perimeters of your sanity.
December for me is an exciting month. As you all know, I LOVE Christmas. You spend the time with your families...It's a good month for me. I know that isn't always the case for many, and December can be the bad month for a lot of people. But not for me. Then, in blows January, challenging you to quit eating, get healthy, save money, change your bad habits, etc....and I am presented, once again with the opportunity to fail! Laugh out loud! should be seen as a time of new beginnings and new opportunities...which again makes me crazy. January asks too many questions and snoops into your private personal life. What AM I supposed to be doing with my life. Questions of wondering....Does my life count for anything important in the scheme of things?? Why do I replace my deep inner emotions with food? Why do I overspend? I want to make a difference, but too often, January reminds me of how very little I have changed in the last year, and laughs at me for being idealistic in my thinking. She taunts me and goads me like she's human. I want to slap January right across her unforgiving face and yell at her to leave me alone! Just when I think, I can't handle January anymore....I get a reprieve....and in rushes February.....the month of LOVE and embraces me in it's arms, promising me that spring will soon be arriving if I can endure a little bit longer.
Then I realize....that even though I dislike January so much, she is needed for my inner growth and OH, how I appreciate February so much more! And the cycle of the four seasons and the cycle of life has come full circle once a reassurance of the faithfulness of the Creator who reminds us that although everything changes......everything also stays the same! Winter, spring, summer, and fall......the Lord God made them all. And even if January is a cold, frigid broad...she serves a purpose. I just don't happen to like her very much!!!!!

1 comment:

Debbie said...

Oh Cathy you sure can hit the nail on the head. I struggle with Jan. too and was just telling Mike, my boss, that I need to embrace it as it is the easiest month out here at the Fort but my little heart is just longing for longer days, warmer weather and sprintime fun.