Gregg and the Flaming Cow Kabobs

So yesterday after I got home from work and was reading my facebook, I could hear my husband enter the house. I was excited to show him the 42 inch flat screen television set I had been admiring on the internet and thought it might be a good time to drop a few hints and "fire" him up about the approaching Christmas season. As I heard his footsteps approach the computer room the smell of a woodburning stove greeted my nostrils. I began sniffing the air like Smokey the Bear. Hubby stood in the doorway with a bewildered look on his face. I said, "Honey...come look as this tv I've been looking at." Sniff, Sniff. "Have you been burning garbage? You don't smell too hot. (notice the irony of this statement)! Hubby replied, "It's a long story." He had my attention now. I turned to give him my full attention. Our conversation could have gone something like this:
Me: So what happened?
Hubby: Well, I have some good news for you.
Me: What's the good new?
Hubby: Well, my cattle hauling trailer is finally fixed. Our naighbor got it welded and it's right on time to haul the cattle we will be selling on Friday.
Me: That is good news.
Hubby: No, that's the bad news. When I went to use it the bottom of the trailer was so slick, my cows slid all over the place.
Me: Whoa! That is bad news.
Hubby: No that's the good news. The straw I put down in the trailer helped them stay on their feet.
Me: That's good news.
Hubby: No, that was bad news. As I was driving down the road with a load of cattle, I could see smoke pouring out of the back of the trailer. I had to stop and see what was burning.
Me: That is bad news.
Hubby: No, that's good news. It was just the hay in the bottom of the trailer that was on fire NOT my cows.
Me: THAT's good news.
Hubby: No. That's bad news. The flames were leaping between the legs of the cows and was burning the hairs off of their legs and bellies.
Me: That is bad news.
Hubby: No that's the good news. The smell of cooking beef steaks made me hungry so I worked a lot faster.
Me: That is good news.
Hubby: No...that's the bad news. When I tried to stomp it all out, I kicked the hay out onto the grass prairie and it started the prairie on fire.
Me: Oh my goodness! That is terrible news.
Hubby: No. That's the good news. I had the fire out in the trailer!
Me: Well, that was good news.
Hubby: No that was the bad news. I had no cell phone, no one around to help me and the fire was starting to spread.
Me: That is bad news.
Hubby: That's the good news. I had my good stomping boots on so I was quickly able to put the prairie fire out.
Me: That's good news.
Hubby: No, that's the bad news. When I looked back in the trailer, there was ten inch flames springing up again. The cows were beginning to think they would become beef kabobs after all.
Me: That IS bad news.
Hubby: No. That's the good news. I was working so hard to put out the flames, I never had time to let those cows out of that trailer.
Me: That's good news.
Hubby: No...that's the bad news. If it snows, I won't be able to get those cows to the sale barn anyway! What really irritates me though is that the day was so hectic, I NEVER did have any time to enjoy me a good barbecued beef steak...!

And so you get the picture of a day in the life of my hubby. He did get the fire put out. His cows were all okay. He didn't destroy the trailer. He's healthy and safe.....that's the good news!
Now for the bad news....that's a NORMAL day!