On Loan

I haven't written a blog for several weeks. I've been busy preparing for the wedding of my youngest daughter, Jill. Everything that was prepared ahead of time to get them hitched.....well, it all went off without a hitch. The bride was breathtaking, the groom was tall, dark, and handsome. The ceremony was moving. The reception was fun. The food was good. The help was exceptional. I love the in-laws.
So why, now, two weeks after the wedding am I feeling soooo sad? It seems I was well prepared for the wedding.....I just wasn't prepared to lose my baby! Now, I know the famous saying, you are not losing a daughter, you are gaining a son-in-law, is true. And that makes me happy. But, as I sit here typing this, I also know that things will never be the same again.
Never again will I trip over piles of her shoes in the middle of my living room floor or hear her rustling around in the refrigerator at midnight looking for munchies.
Never again will I lie in bed waiting to hear her car pull in and breathe a sigh of relief that God had brought her home safely once again.
Never again will I bring home that special something I purchased because it reminded me of her.
No,I won't have stray wild kittens spatting and hissing at me as I try to pull them out from behind the piano because she had let go of them in the house.
I'll now have stacks of clean towels, because there won't be someone using 3 or 4 a day.
It will now take me years to use a bottle of cream rinse.
You see, I had a very important job for many years, and it was to be a mother and raise the three little beings that God had entrusted in my care. This last one....well she has been around for awhile. It was my job to instruct her on how to live, what to do, where to go, when to go, what not to do, how often not to do it, how much to spend, what was acceptable, what was not appreciated...etc. I think you get the picture.
What if I forgot to teach her something? I didn't have enough years to tell her everything I was suppose to, did I? What if she makes mistakes? What if I can't protect her anymore? What if she gets hurt?
Thirty years ago when I had my first baby, I didn't know how to be a mother.....now I don't know how to stop being one.
We live our lives raising our children for someone else. And then, we hand them over to their other half and are expected to retire from parenthood. It would be nice if they came with little tags on their big toe when they are born that reads..
On loan...please love unconditionally...sacrifice unselfishly.....give everything.....expect nothing in return.....and turn them over to someone else in 20 years or so. Please note...they will barely say thank you or goodbye for the years you've invested in them, as they happily pack up their belongings and head out the door.....this is normal. It means you did your job well. Relax...you are no longer a mom!
It seems it would be nice to spend a little time just on me. Right? The problem is...I forgot who me is! I spent 30 of my 52 years being a mom or wife. It didn't seem important at the time. Now, it almost seems too late.
Empty nests! My little birdies have all flown away. I'm entering a new stage of life. Should be exciting.....Once I get use to it!

My Son-in-Law, Russ

Well, the second person I have chosen to write about on my blog is my son-in-law, Russ. When I was thinking about all of my favorite people that I would be writing about, Russ was the one that I knew would be the one I wanted to write about next. Russ is a diamond in the son-in-laws of life. If I could have hand picked my daughter's husband, he would have been everything I would have chosen for her, and then some.
I remember the first time I met Russ. My daughter had invited us over to her house in Chadron, and Russ was coming over to cook for us. He was an amazing young man. He had prepared a whole meal for all of us that consisted of Teriyaki Grilled Chicken and Rice...wait, it might have been chicken alfredo! He is a great cook, and we have had both prepared by his hands. Anyhow, it was delicious! I could tell he was a special person by the way he treated everyone, especially Gina. I do believe he is one of the most considerate and thoughtful people I have ever met. Russ has a way of recognizing and meeting people's needs before you even realize you need it.
I remember the first time I saw him standing at that kitchen stove , I thought he looked a lot like a young Jesus with short cut hair and neatly trimmed beard. Later, I was to find out that he had a lot of the qualities that I would expect Jesus himself to have. There was a calm peace about him. Very confident, kind, and caring.
I remember one of the stories Gina had told us that gave me a little insight into the sort of person he is.
She told me that she always liked having a little candy once in awhile and not long after they had been dating, she had went to put on her coat that had been hanging in the hall. When she reached inside the pockets, she felt something in there. She pulled out candy. He had placed candy in her coat pockets as a surprise...which was one of the most romantic things to me. He knew what she liked, and had made a special effort to let her know that he was thinking about her and her needs.
Thinking back, we must have been an overwhelming sort of family to become a part of, when his personality is so quiet and calm. My whole family tends to be loud, pushy, conversation stealers and interrupters! But Russ remains gracious and loving toward us and I genuinely appreciate that.
Russ has a keen sense of humor. He is very witty and enjoys deeper, more intellectual humor. It amazes me how he and Gina will share that knowing glance of an inside joke and understand immediately what each other is thinking about.
I didn't always make life easy for Russ, and I still don't for that matter, but I want him to know that I love him so much and feel so blessed and lucky to have him as part of our family.
He is an amazing husband and father! Actually, he should be nominated for the father of the year award, because he is phenomenal with his three little girls and they think he is the greatest thing since ice cream! You can tell how loved they feel and that they are secure in that love.
Russ is a man of character and integrity. He is an excellent provider and is honest and trustworthy. God truly has placed some wonderful people in our family, and our son-in-law is one of the best!
Russ, we love you! Thank you for accepting us. You are an amazing person and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. Thank you for falling in love with my daughter and becoming a part of our family!

My Son, My Hero

Over the next few weeks, I have decided to share with you about some of my favorite people in the world...and I can't think of a better person to start with than my son, Jordan.
From the moment the little rascal was born, I could tell that he was going to be someone special. He came out shriveled and red, howling like a banshee, announcing his presence to the world in a great big voice, and I knew from that moment on my life would never be the same again. I've never been disappointed!
Jordan is my Sanguine child. If you have never studied the four basic personality traits, you should. It is quite enlightening and would definitely help you to understand people a little more gracefully. Sanguines LOVE fun. Life is exciting and they enjoy it. Jordan enjoys a good time whether it is on the golf course, playing cards, or his witty, amazing sense of humor! He gets along well with people and enjoys making them laugh.
Jordan has a heart of gold and is a very generous person. On a spiritual level, he is tuned in to the misfortunes of others and has a compassion for them. He is my one child who I feel I could count on to come through for you in a tough situation. He would be there for you, even when it would make him uncomfortable. He is my child I will call "The Defender and Protector of Hearts!"
Jordan has always had a love for animals. And growing up on a farm, there were plenty of those around. I remember his first real test of proving his manhood. He was about nine or ten and he went out to discover that one of his favorite pets had died. Like a man, he went out with a shovel and dug a hole to bury it. He told his dad, "I had to bury it, dad, I couldn't let Jill (his little sister) go out there and find it laying there dead." Even then, he was protecting the hearts of others.
Jordan was a short, stocky little powerhouse. But, there was one thing for sure that he was afraid of. The mean rooster. We lived next door to his grandparents and you would have to cross the driveway to go visit them. Invariably, that mean rooster knew when he would be heading over there. Jordan would take off running as fast as his fat, little legs could carry him with that rooster dead on his heals, jumping up on his back and spurring him. Jordan would be screaming and hollering all the way until one of us would have to go out there and knock that rooster off.
I remember the time Jordan got mad at me and packed up his little suitcase and said he was leaving. By suppertime he was back home, everything forgiven. Then there was the time he mowed a big heart in the lawn and the words Happy Father's Day. We still have a picture of that...Gregg had to get up into a tree to take the picture, because the heart was that big.
At the age of 19, my son became a husband and a daddy. This has proven to be one of the moments I am most proud of him. The road hasn't always been easy, but he has diligently worked at being a good provider for his family. He graduated from college when at times it may have been easier for him to drop out. His hard work and dedication has truly been an inspiration to me, and I thank God every day for giving me such a wonderful son.
On Facebook the other day, Jordan made a comment about sometimes you have to go through the darkness to really appreciate the light. Jordan, you are a light in a dark world. When life gets you down, and even when it seems a little dark and dreary, I want you to know that I love you so much and YOU are my hero and bright spot in my dark times!
You are a strong and honorable man of God, an embracer of goodness and joy. You appreciate the gift of life and spread happiness with your generosity and sense of humor. You make me laugh on the outside and you make me smile on the inside. I am a very fortunate mother to have such a good son, but you also make me proud to know you as a person.
You're future's so bright.....you gotta wear shades!!!!!!!

A Call to Excellence

It has been quite awhile since I wrote my last blog...I think this stems from the fact that I want my blog to really say something important. So I wait until something hits me and I go from there. Well, it is three in the morning...and something has hit me....so here goes.
Gregg and I were reading in the book of Joel today and as it was talking about the swarms of locust devouring the field, God revealed a bit of spiritual wisdom to me. It said first the swarms of locust came and devoured everything, then whatever was left was devoured by the bigger locust, whatever they left was devoured by the small locust and finally whatever was left was devoured by the "other" locust.
This summer we got a taste of what a devouring grasshopper could do. They came in and stripped the leaves off of nearly every green thing in their path. I had several peony bushes that were just getting a good start, but alas, they are all gone. Eaten to the point of no return....they died an excruciating death...Eaten alive!
At one point this summer, the whole side of my house was covered in grasshoppers, both large and small. When they moved to the fields, Gregg called me out to look across the field....the green was a funny yellowish brown color and we wondered why it looked that way only to discover that every stalk was covered with devouring grasshoppers which made them appear yellow. They dined on the stalks stripping every bit of green, killing the plants, then moved on to the next green stalk until the field was barren of life.
Then it hit me....that's what grasshoppers (locust)do! They devour life! As we read the scripture, God revealed to me that our lives and the lives of those around us are similar to the field. The seed has been planted,watered and nurtured by the worker and has sprouted up into fresh green life. Even before the fruit begins to appear, or the harvest is ready, the devourer comes to destroy it. It strips the new green leaves, leaving it to wither and dry up, sucking the life out of it.
There are so many devourers in our lives. They come in all forms of "locust". They do not wish to see us reach fruitfulness. They do not want us to see abundant life...they come to steal and destroy! They devour our life and our fruit before it reaches maturity. They leave us to wither and dry up...close to spiritual death.
Are "locusts" devouring your time? Your energy? Your money? Your spiritual fruit? In other words, are you allowing "locusts" into your life that will end up stripping you clean and leaving you fruitless and fighting for life?
The sad part I am seeing is that we don't even realize that it is destroying us until it is too late.
One area that I have especially been aware of recently is in the area of excellence. As Christians, we have been called to be ambassadors and represent the King himself, yet we allow ourselves to be fooled into a life that is ordinary instead of an "extraordinary life".
Our pastor has been preaching on this and explained to us that the difference between "ordinary" and "extraordinary" is the "extra"! Yet our lifestyles are an indication that we just don't get it! When you can't tell the difference between a follower of Jesus Christ and a non-believer...there is a problem. We are not taking the "higher" road or going the "extra" mile. We are not representing our "King" correctly. If people can't "see" the difference...then I guess there really "is no difference." The "devourer" has done his job well.
I am deeply disturbed by the fact that the younger generation of "Christians", although passionate about their belief in Jesus, so often fail to display that passion in their lifestyles. They fail to understand who they represent, and thus become "ordinary". They lack the understanding of God's holiness and the gift of His grace and see no need for the "extra" so settle for the "ordinary" which in truth is a misrepresentation of who God really is.
God's grace is a call to excellence....to "excel" in all things not the freedom to do whatever we want! We are called to a higher purpose. As ambassadors to Jesus, we are called to serve and represent Him in all areas of our life.
If I remember correctly, Satan has a motto...it is "Do What Thou Wilt." In other words, do whatever feels good, whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. The devourer uses lies to convince you that it is all about you! He subtly leads you down paths of destruction. He knows that living for yourself will ultimately destroy you and your service to Jesus.
The only way to fight off the "locusts" is to remain in the vine, Jesus Christ. He is "the Life". and to remain in His word, The Holy Bible.
But...if the devourer can isolate you through his lies and deceit...and away from "the Truth" he will eat you alive! "Satan is like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."
Are you remaining in the vine....that will keep you alive and growing? Are you striving for excellence and being "extraordinary"? Don't settle! Jesus offers abundant life, full of new growth, and plenty of fruit for the harvest.
It's not about you....It is about representing the one who died for your sins. And make no mistake, "we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Your sin earned you death....but Jesus Christ paid the wage for you! Praise be to God!
He deserves your best....your "extra"....your "excellence"!!!

The "Heartbeat" of the Church

I am often amazed, as I walk out of church on Sunday morning, how often the message is something I had just been studying or the scripture is one that I had just read sometime that week. After all, how many thousands of verses are there in the bible to be read and yet over and over again, the pastor's message will be on the same subject that Gregg and I have been discussing throughout the week. It really shouldn't be that surprising. After all, God talks to us daily about the things we need to hear or learn, to help us grow. But what does amaze me, is that He seems to be talking to the people within my circle about the same things. It's like, finally, we are all on the same page together. We all come from different places...we all have different stories...but we are finally bringing them all to the same table!
It's been a long time coming, but I believe we are finally in tune to the same heartbeat. Let me explain...I guess I see it like there is this great concert that we are all to be performing in....and we have this fantastic new tune that no one has ever heard before, so we, the fellow musicians, each bring our instrument to the concert hall, and began tuning up. We don't sound like much when we are working alone, but we each have our part to play and contribute to the making of a masterpiece. The drums don't sound all the melodious when they are played by themselves. The flutes, although quite pretty, can only make their own sound. The horns alone can be sort of boring. In order to successfully play the new song, every musician, with his own instrument, must work together...they must read the notes, that have been penciled on paper by the master composer. But even them, the key is not in the playing of the instruments together, in the right key, at the right time....No! The hauntingly beautiful music only really works if it is played with the same HEARTBEAT! This is the common denominator that must be present to make the song really work. The director takes his place on the podium, raises his baton, and leads the music out of them. And when they understand his heart and the places he wants to lead them, they don't hold back...they give him their all, and together, they perform the music exactly how the composer had dreamed. Perfection!
Like a beautiful concerto or symphony....the music is only great when everyone does his or her part.
I guess, that is how I have been seeing "the church" lately. We have the gift of a beautiful piece of music handed to the director by the composer. The director only has the written "word" to go by, but must take all of the musicians, utilize and fine-tune their skills and abilities, and produce "the heartbeat" of the composed song. How close to the composer's intent, depends so much upon the director.
God, the composer, has given us the song! We have one of the most skillful directors, Pastor D, that I have ever had the fortune to sit under! I've met the fellow musicians, and they are all equipped with their own instruments. We gather each week to fine-tune and practice the piece. It's nearly time for the concert!!! The "heartbeat" of the performance is Jesus, who's own lifeblood quickens us to abundant life.
The practice is over....the performance time has arrived! Our "heartbeat" is almost in unison! The area is about to hear and receive the composer's finest song....created by the Master....entrusted to the director.....and presented to the world by "the glorious redeemed church". Be prepared for a standing ovation!!!

Wild Thing: Living the Intentional Life

"Wild thing...you make my heart sing...you make everything groovy! Wild Thing."

"Doing things on purpose"....sounds easy, doesn't it! You would think so. But lately I have been thinking about how mostly we live our daily lives habitually rather than intentionally.
Let me explain....
First, I will ask you a question. Have you ever been driving down the highway for several minutes then popped back into your own mind and wondered how in the heck you got where you are when you can't remember turning, steering, breaking for traffic, or much else, for that matter? It's like you are on automatic mode and you just do it robotically.
Well, that is what I find myself doing everyday, nearly 24 hours a day. I know...it's sad isn't it. We function on automatic and are habit driven. I get up...do the same stupid things daily...go to work...and although the tasks change somewhat, my mind just keeps on auto pilot. Back home from work and I plunk down in front of the computer or television so I don't have to think...(and although I think zombies are kind of popular right now, I really don't enjoy being one.) Shoveling food into a mouth that doesn't taste and barely takes time to chew...staring at brain dead movies that require no thought...
This is not living the way God purposed us to live. But let me tell you...being intentional takes work! You're brain has to be used...you have to make choices instead of being a creature of habit. In fact, being intentional means you HAVE to think ALL OF THE TIME!!!
Our pastor has been preaching to us about getting outside of the box. I think that this is one aspect of what he is talking about. Choices! We need to CHOOSE! I'm tired of taking the "easy" route...I'm ready to be more intentional.
So....where to start??
Today, I put my Netflix on hold! I'm going to make time for other things. I chose fruit and yogurt for lunch. I went out at six this morning and walked around my yard enjoying nature and listening to the birds. Sometimes...I choose to take a different route to get to work. When I had to shop at Walmart yesterday....I went in the opposite direction on purpose! lol. If I want chocolate, by golly, I'm going to taste it...instead of eating it without realizing I've gobbled up a one pound bag of M & M's without tasting a one! Before I answer Yes or No....I'm going to stop and pray about both answers and do what God tells me to do regardless of what people may think or say.
Okay...it might sound a little silly to you...but to me it's the beginning of the end. I have one foot over the edge of the box.....I'm escaping.....and when I get out of this stifling box.....I'm going to run free....I'm going to live the intentional life I was meant to live.
I sort of picture a wild cat being shut up in a box with the lid closed all day long and then finally someone opens the lid. WATCH OUT! That cat will come clawing and digging it's way out of that box to get loose. I am THE cat! I want out!
I have a musical button on my desk at work that when I push it, it plays Wild Thing. I'm going to push that button every morning as a sign that I'm on my way. I'm going to celebrate and embrace that wild side. It may be a little dangerous....but I really like what the author, CS Lewis says of Aslan in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Aslan is wild.
Our God is not tame, but He is a wild God! He does things that aren't expected. But He's very intentional! He's a little scary and very exciting...but, it's never dull or boring. That's how I want to live.
Intentional living.....goodbye box....hello...life! And someday...I hope someone pushes that button at my funeral....and Wild Thing starts playing to remind everybody to surrender to the "Call of the Wild" that is placed in each of our hearts....to live a little more daring and intentional for HIM!

It's Not Just For the Birds!

I'm an early riser because I'm usually at work by 7:00 am. This gives me just a little time to meditate and ponder on the things I need to accomplish in the day or to have a few moments of peace before the tranquility is shattered by the busyness of life. I really relish this time and I usually pour myself a big glass of orange juice, sit down in my chair and stare out of my picture window watching the birds enjoy their breakfast at my bird feeders. I never really thought about birds much, but as I got older, I began to understand why older people seem to enjoy them. So I guess I have also joined the ranks of an older person, because the lessons those little birds are teaching me are amazing.
Let me elaborate. If you watch birds long enough, you will begin to be able to tell them apart. They have personalities very similar to the larger two-legged species called man.
The flighty ones: they can never light in one place too long. They are skiddish when other "birds" are around and don't even seem to really be able to sit long enough to enjoy a good breakfast.
The bulles: Ah, yes. These "birds" are usually a bit larger and darker in nature than the others. They swoop in and scare all the others away, perch like they are the king of the feeder, dive bombing and pecking at all the others. They are intimidating to the littler species and know it. Half the time, they aren't even hungry, they just want to show the rest who runs the place.
The little sneakers: These little creatures hide in the branches and slowly inch their way toward the feeders. They slowly gain ground, and just when you think they might get a bite....something scares them back to the beginning and the inching ritual begins all over again.
The loud, nagging ones: They have to let everyone know they have arrived and are chatty and loud.
The teenagers: These little birds sport a white mohawk and feast under the feeders in small groups. They appear to be ADHD and definitely dance to the beat of a different drummer. They make you nervous.
The pompous male: He is brightly adorned and struts up and down the chain preening and showing off. He thinks all the women birds want him and he ruffles up and makes a spectacle of himself as the "ladies" ignore him.
The couples: There are always a few of these in the crowd. They only have eyes for each other and don't pay a whole lot of attention to anything that goes on around them.
The gluttons: These definitely enjoy a good, free buffet. They sit and eat constantly and even when they are full they carry off more to their nest.
The show-offs: These are the birds that hang upside down, walk tight wires and swing from their perches in forty mile an hour winds. It's amazing....they never fall off and they don't even have hands to hold on with.
The snobs: They grab what they need with their eyes on the sky and fly elsewhere to eat. Too good for the little people.
The annoying one: Okay...usually a woodpecker....tap, tap, taps that crazy tree until just about every bird is ready to kill him.
I guess that is just a sampling....I didn't even mention the frumpy ones, the dull ones, the crazy, suicidal ones (these usually take on the family cats), the lazy ones, or the joyous, singing ones.
By observing the different characteristics of the birds out my window, I have learned a great deal about people and the God who made them. I am amazed at His handiwork, and the bird is only one animal....look around at nature and you will discover hundreds upon thousands of intricately created little beings, all living out their lives, no matter how short or insignificant, oblivious to their surroundings, carrying out their own special purpose, created just for them, on this big, blue planet we call earth. How lucky we are to get to share it with such incredible wonders of God's creation.
How can you see these creatures and not believe in a Creator? But more importantly, how can you even begin to think that "you" are the center of this universe? Get over it! It's NOT ABOUT YOU! It's about the Master Sculptor displaying his beautiful works of art and handiwork in the museum of life for His glory and recognition. It's open all year round, 365 days a year. Take time to appreciate it in all it's majesty and magnificent splendor. Let all of creation praise His name!