Rocking the Boat

Okay...I haven't been here since March...but when I came back, everything has changed. They say it's easier to use...I don't know about that. But it is what it is. Adaptation! I can do this! I guess that should be the topic of my blog. Change. The reason it's a good topic is that the last month has been full of change for us. I've told you before how much I loved church and my pastor. Well, he left. Gave two weeks notice and when we got back from our trip to Branson, we had 2 weeks left with him. I knew it was coming...just wasn't quite ready for it. Change. I think God is telling me I have become complacent and accepting of certain things, certain ways....so it's time to rock the boat. And boy did He rock it! During the time of His rocking the boat....we can hang on for dear life, or fall out and drowned. I prefer to hang on, thank you very much. I can't tell you some of the things that have happened in the last month (they involve others) but let's just say that it effected me in big ways. Sometimes, even though God is shaking someone else's boat, we are caught in the waves and undertow. Gregg (and the Word of God, plus the Byrds) reminded me that there is a reason for every season. "A time to be born, a time to die, a time to sow and a time to reap, a time to laugh and a time to cry." We like some seasons better than others. Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn...each serves a specific purpose. Spring...new beginnings, anticipation. Fall....a time of reflection and preparedness for the coming season of Winter. Winter...a cold, harsh season that we're never prepared for when it drops it's icy fingers and grabs us by the hand inviting us to come with it and learn great lessons. Lessons are always learned in the winter season of our souls...but sometimes at great cost. Isn't it funny that some of us are in our soul's winter season while the summer sun is spreading her warmth upon us. And some of us are celebrating summer souls in the physically cold winter season. Change...do you see that word in a negative or positive way?? Nothing stays the same....everything changes. I believe we should look at change as an opportunity. God is rocking the boat....shaking our tree.....stirring the water....He's saying, don't get too comfortable...I have plans for you! Change....no one said it would be easy! But when you begin to feel your branches starting to shake or your boat starting to tip..take heart, and accept it as your opportunity to enter a new season of Spring, a time of new beginnings and new growth!

The Purpose of My Life

I've been directing the all school play this spring and one of the gifts I get to witness everyday is this God given ability in each of my students to become more....does what I am saying make any sense?
You see, as a director or coach, it is our purpose to take the raw talent (or lack there of) of each student and slowly shape their performance into something more...something beyond what they believed they were capable of. I get to slowly cut through their inhibitions and fears, and right before my eyes, watch this inner strength and talent emerge. And when it surfaces, it is like magic. What a gift to me as a director.
It may not always be apparent to the audience that they are seeing something beautiful and magical take place, but to the director or coach, who has worked numerous hours with the student, it truly does amaze and leave me standing in awe.
I guess I could say that my personal motto or mission statement, what I feel God has placed me here on earth to accomplish, is to help others reach their full potential. To bring out the best of who they are and who they are meant to be, and help them to recognize and to bring into fruition the gifts that God has placed into them. Serving as a secretary of school seems to have been the place I have always ended up. We are sometimes led down paths that we didn't think was where God purposed us to be, but end right back where we began, only to realize that we are exactly where God intended us to be all along. For me, that seems to be associated with working at the school. And although I never went to college and never got my teaching degree as I intended...God has placed me in an environment where I have the ability to come in contact with so many lives every day and teaching is what I was always intended to do...just in a different way. Every day I have the ability to do what God has intended me to do all along....to help build lives and to encourage those I come in contact with to become all that they can be. I AM a teacher. I use words and lessons to enable the people I come in contact with. I am overwhelmed by the awesomeness of this job that He has given me. How blessed I am to get to share in the beauty of building and shaping lives by the words I say or the comments I make.
At the realization of God's word that says I have the ability to bring life or death with my tongue. To bless people or to curse them. Oh, what a great responsibility. But, oh, what an awesome gift. To take God's seeda, His children, to nourish and tend them until they develop into the beautiful flowers He intended. To watch passion and strength emerge from the words I share from my mouth. Have you ever thought about the power you hold in your tongue? I have watched people blossom in front of my eyes as I watered them with my words, but I have also seen them wilt to the ground as I scorched them with my heated comments.
So many people ask, Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? And I believe that I found the answer to that question. Our purpose isn't about us...our purpose is about others. When we make it our purpose to edify and build up the people we come in contact with...we make flowers bloom and the world becomes a better place. Our words and encouragement birth future doctors, future inventors, future teachers, and future actors. We mentor others to become the best they can be and end up helping to create future mothers, future encourager, future givers. The possibilities are endless. We are helping the Creator of the universe, develop and raise His seed into a beautiful garden. Someone's words helped to develop Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Albert Einstein, and Billy Graham. But someone's words also helped develop Hitler, Charles Manson, or Saddaam Hussein.
Use your words wisely. Use your tongue to bring blessings and inner beauty. Be an encourager and edifier. Bring out the best in those you deal with daily. A kind word can change the world.
I am so blessed. Thank you, Jesus, for showing me my true purpose through allowing me to direct this play. True character is built in frustration, laughter, and stress. Your wisdom and insight keep me focus on the right reasons I am directing this play. And the flowers are beginning to bloom!

Applauding Kirk Cameron!

Okay....Here goes! I'm sure this blog is going to offend a lot of people. But, it's time I get as politically incorrect as I possibly can. I can't believe that Kirk bashing or Christian bashing is acceptable behavior and taking a moral stand and having a conviction that God's word is true has become abominable in our world today! It is a sad day when a CHRISTIAN is bated into a controversial subject in an interview and than tells what he believes and why, only to become the butt of cruel and vicious comments by the media and the so called Hollywood Royalty! First of all, if I give a flying fig about what the Hollywood crowd thinks is acceptable and tells me is loving, I've made a BIG mistake....following that crowd is sure to lead to a path paved with sorrow, divorces, drugs, alcoholism, abortions, diseases and a wide road of destruction to the pits of hell! If we as Christians are going to be so bashed by having a moral opinion or standard.....then we might as well get hit with everything they can throw at us. They are going to ALWAYS call us unloving and judgmental...because they know that it bothers us as Christians when we think we are being misunderstood or unloving. But I can tell you now that I would rather be accused of being thought of as unloving by a bunch of liberal, radical Hollywood nuts pushing the homosexual lifestyle and agenda on the world, than to embrace something that is abhorrent and yes....UNNATURAL to God. Homosexuality is the biggest slap in God's face when He created LIFE producing beings to unite and become one. Homosexuality can NEVER produce life on it's own. I applaud Kirk Cameron for standing firm on his convictions as the insults and mud are hurled at him! They can apparently say whatever mean thing they want about Kirk, and it is alright to them. But taking a stand on homosexuality makes us unloving!!! Whatever!!!
Do what thou wilt! Satan's plan. Do whatever you want.....do whatever feels good. Forget that someday you will stand before the maker of the universe and have to give an account for the lifestyles you choose to lead. So, I'm standing up next to you Kirk! I too, am against homosexuality and abortions. I am politically incorrect. But in all honesty, Kirk, my blog only has 3 or 4 followers.....so it's not as big a risk as it is for you! Just don't back down!
Remember, John 15: verse 18: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to this world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." and John 15: 21 "They will treat you this way because of my name."

And...if you happen to stumble upon my blog and hate it...don't read it. You don't have to agree with me....enjoy the freedom to disagree...I have a feeling, it won't last long!

Voices

Greetings!
It's been awhile since I posted a blog and decided it was time I let you all know I am still alive and kicking.
So, I went to the movies this afternoon and saw "The Vow". It actually got me thinking about a lot of things. The movie is about a husband and wife who are involved in an auto accident resulting in the wife losing her memory of him as her husband. She could remember being engaged to someone else and so she reverted back to the person she was before she met him. She pretty much was totally different from the person he knew.
On the way home, Gregg and I talked about who we really are and where our identities really come from. For instance, I can't swim and am pretty much afraid of water....is it possible that under different circumstances and different relationships....I would be an exceptional swimmer and love the water??? What if one of the Osmonds with all their musical talent would have been adopted at birth by someone with no interest or gifts in music. Would their natural ability to sing have surfaced on it's own regardless of their environment or the way they had been raised? We all have God given talents and interests, but how much of who we are is actually determined by our environment, parents, and culture. What do I really love....and what have I been told I love? What has been predetermined and what has been learned? How much of what we do or say is what we really believe and how much is determined by expectations and influences of others?
Have you ever really thought about what you would be if you were free of all judgments, fears, and expectations of others?
We ate at the Texas Roadhouse yesterday, and halfway into our meal they cranked up the music and all of the waiters and waitresses came out and line danced to the song. I watched their faces. Some were embarrassed to have to do it. But others were enjoying every minute of it and doing it well. They were FREE. It made me smile inside to see people who were not in bondage to fear and embarrassment. They were not held captive by the thoughts of others or fear of failure, or insecurities in abundance.
Too often we are stopped from being FREE by the voices in our heads that tell us we are too old, or too fat, or too inferior, or too ____________. You fill in your own blank. It doesn't really matter. We all have those voices in our head. I guess the point of all this is that far too often, we let these voices control our actions and in doing so....lose our own FREEDOM in the process. Jesus came to set the captives free. He came to give us life and give it to us abundantly. In actuality...I wanted to jump up in that aisle and dance with them. I wanted to experience the exhileration of a freedom that didn't care what the people looking on thought!! Maybe they would see my joy and laugh along with me instead of at me. But, alas...I sat there, not even allowing myself to drop the peanut shells on the floor because it just wasn't right to do so. At least, that is what one of the voices in my head kept telling me. Curse these chains of bondage...these blasted voices in my head that condemn and control.
Like the old song says, "I've gotta be me...I've gotta be me! What else can I be...but me?" What I'm learning is, that as soon as I grab hold of my identity in Christ and realize what I was created to be....nothing will be able to stop me! It's coming....and if you see me line dancing in the aisle of a grocery store, or singing off key at the top of my voice...or even wearing plaids and stripes together..you will know that I've finally arrived. But if you think I've lost it or I'm stupid, or too old to be acting in such foolish ways....well, I really don't care.
Where the spirit of the Lord is.............there is freedom! In his sermon today, my pastor made a statement that I think we all should live by. You only need to be concerned about an audience of One! His voice is the only one you need to listen to! And seriously.......I think He is saying DANCE!

My Father-in-Law

My father-in-law is a gem of a man. This year he has witnessed his 91st Christmas. In March, he will turn 92. I was fortunate enough to get to have him over for Christmas Day dinner. I enjoyed the twinkle in his eyes as he still teased my dad! And the excitement he showed as he opened our Christmas gift of a new shirt. I watched him struggle to unsnap each of the buttons and rub his fingers against the soft material. He was determined to try it on right then and there and as Grandma Veda patiently helped him out of his old shirt and into the new, I witnessed an enduring love between the two of them. How tenderly she treated him...proving a love that had weathered sixty odd years of marriage. Four children had been born of this love and now many great grandchildren later...the love still endures. He no longer is the strong farmer/rancher I remember when I entered the family thirty-five years ago....the fraility of ninety years has taken it's toll. Hands shake and tears form easily in the corner of cloudy, distant eyes. Yet, I can still see the loving father...the providing husband....the patriotic World War II veteran...the bible believing Gideon....the proud cattle rancher....the faithful Sunday School teacher....He wore many hats in his 90 years, yet he very seldom ventured more than a hundred miles away from home.....he could toss a mean horseshoe in his day...could milk cows with fewer fingers than most (due to an accident), he was honest, a good neighbor, and would loan you the shirt off of his back. If he ever had need to borrow anything, he would return it better than he received it. His door was always open for a visiting evangelist or company on Sundays. In his day, he could work circles around men much younger than himself. He was proud of his Danish heritage and prouder still of his Lord and Savior. When Wednesdays and Sundays would roll around, you would find him in church. And that is where you would still find him if he were strong enough to attend. It is with the greatest honor and respect that I give homage to this wonderful man and patriarch. How fortunate I have been to get to know him. What a gift to us all. God bless you, Jimmie H. Raben. We love you!

10 Things I Love About Me!

Okay...this may be an interesting title for a blog. It may even sound a little conceited or boastful. But I can ensure you...it is far from that. Actually, I use to have a problem with liking myself...until I met Jesus, that is. I struggled with understanding unconditional love. Everyone places conditions on our love...right? I went to a church for a very long time that beat me up with the notion that if I didn't watch my p's and q's...or hold my mouth just right....God would be displeased and boot my sorry bottom out of His presence. I tried hard to please Him....tried "doing" all the right things...but it was never done with right motives...I could never "do" enough for a "perfect holy God". I intellectually "knew Jesus" for many years...but when I really got to know Him....and the grace that He came to bring us....well, then...I fell in love with Him!!! And I learned how much He loved me! And accepted me....warts and all! WOW! After awhile, I began to see what He saw in me! I was a pretty amazing creation of His! And so are YOU! When you get a hold of that information.....it will change your life....like it has mine!!! Oh, I am not perfect...far from it....and I still need to fix a few things....but amazingly....He finds me irresistable! So...I decided to list 10 things about myself that both He and I find uniquely appealing!

1. My sense of humor! He often laughs at some of the things I say and finds me witty, funny, and creative! I appreciate that one of my gifts is my humor! I love making people laugh! And it is uniquely my own...Thank you for my amazing humor!

2. Flexibility! I may seem stressed out sometimes...but I've discovered that I do my best work when I can "go with the flow". I do it well and I thank Him for flexibility as one of my unique "Cathy" gifts.

3. My compassionate heart! I may appear to be cold and uptight on the outside....but oh...what a beautiful heart God has put in me!! Thank you, Father.

4. My generous/giving spirit! I LOVE to give gifts to people! I would say I love to lavish gifts on my family! If I had more money.....wow....I just want to give things to people! Thank you God, that you poured so much of this spirit into me.

5. The Ability to Cry! I cry so easily....but it comes from such a sensitive heart. How cleansing and freeing to not be afraid to share your emotions with others and allow them to catch a glimpse of my heart! It makes me cry just thinking about it. lol.

6. My desire to right the wrong! I have a keen desire to protect the underdog....to fight for causes....to take a stand against evil! I love that about me!!

7. My Passion! I'm passionate about everything and have an opinion about everything! I love the color red! I hate alcohol! Everything is always black or white to me! I love that God gave me passion about things! I just need to learn how to redirect some of this passion and tame down the strong opionions.

8. I'm patriotic! Somehow, I picked up the importance of country....and freedom....and our great American roots! I love America and the National Anthem and the fact that we are still "One Nation Under God". I am in awe of our military who is willing to lay down their lives for me...and my right to have freedom!

9. I Love that I see potential in Everyone....and want to bring out the best in everyone! If I can contribute to someone becoming the best that they can be...then I have met my goal on earth! Everyone has something beautiful to offer to this world...and it makes me happy when I can draw that out of people! What a wonderful gift God has given me when I get an opportunity to make this happen.

But what I most love about me is this........10. That I accepted the best gift God has ever given me.....Jesus Christ! He loves me unconditionally....He made all these wonderful traits in me...it is just my job to fine tune them and hone those traits and skills to represent Him to others in a real and untarnished way! When I abide in Him...His life flows from me in a natural way....not me trying to "do" things on my own!

And you know what? As I began listing the 10 things I love about me.....I started thinking of more than ten. I've come a long way from not even liking myself very much....to loving myself!!

Cradled in His Arms

My heart has been crying this month. I want to share a very personal story with you. I've always been a pretty open person, so sharing something personal isn't that odd for me, however, I am sharing this in order to share what God is doing in my life. I am also a very emotional person, so this isn't shared without good reason. My blogs usually have some sort of spiritual message I am trying to relay, and this one is no different. In fact, it has several....I have just finished reading my daughter Gina's blog, so she has shared it, which means that I can tell my side of the story now, also, without revealing anything that she had wanted to keep to herself.
Three weeks ago, we went to visit my daughter and the family stopped to have ice cream at the Dairy Queen. She had an envelope full of pictures for me and as I was looking through them, one caught my eye in particular. It was an ultrasound picture of a tiny baby and I knew immediately that we were going to be grandparents again. Even though Gina has three wonderful daughters, a fourth child would be a welcomed addition to the family. I was excited! We hoped for a little grandson and we vocalized it to her...wouldn't it be nice to have a little boy??? We also joked with her about how "some" members of our family and even just friends and people in general were bound to make the comments about "don't you know what causes those." or "I can't believe you would want any more... to even "I hope THIS is the last one." Comments that are said without malice....however, can still hurt all the same. Fortunately, for once, I was not the voice of these comments. I was happy! I love grandchildren...and they are exceptional parents....so why should anyone care...(unfortunately....they seem to. none the less). Or at least they feel it is their right to instruct people on things that aren't really their business. Why do we do that, anyway? Why can't we make positive, encouraging comments, instead. Anyway...we had an ultrasound picture of a healthy baby with a strong heartbeat.
Friday, Gina had a regular doctor appointment and they could not detect a heartbeat....they sent her in for another ultrasound and discovered that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and there was now no heartbeat. They gave her the option of a D and C or to wait out a miscarriage. She waited until she knew I would be home and called me. We cried together and wondered why?
Saturday, Gregg and I attended a healing conference in Rapid City, SD. We have been feeling that God is leading us into ministry in the area of healing (both spiritually and physically). It was an interesting conference and we both felt we had learned some valuable information. When I got home that night, I really felt that we needed to go the next day and pray over Gina and the baby. We felt we needed to pray "life" into this little one and knew that God is able to do all things so that is what we did. Our whole family were united in this decision and we prayed for a miracle, believing that God would do this. We had God's promises and scripture that confirmed this and our faith was strong. The whole week was dedicated to believing, praying and scripture. Our faith grew stronger each day. Even though we were praying for the impossible, we believed we would receive it. I learned so much during this time....as long as she hadn't miscarried....I believed there was hope...
The next Friday, she went in for her appointment and asked for another ultrasound believing that God had given her a miracle....he really had....but not in the way we were hoping for...there was no change....no growth.....no heartbeat.
I was a little irritated with God....where was MY miracle? Why wasn't He giving us what we were having faith for? And actually....He answered me!
Our faith should not be dependent upon the results....that's right...you heard me correctly. God REQUIRES us to BELIEVE and TRUST...regardless of the outcome! and not only that, the outcome has nothing to do with your faith! The outcome belongs to God and God alone. But YOU determine what YOU do in any given circumstance regardless of the results! Our faith should look like a straight and narrow road in the valleys and on the mountaintops. It should remain level, unfaltering, no dips and no rises.....circumstances should not dictate our reactions. IN CHRIST ALONE I PUT MY TRUST....God wanted me to believe for a miracle....that is what He asks of us. To trust and believe for miracles, always. But He doesn't always respond with a miracle.
If I am going to be immersed in a ministry of healing (wounded souls and broken bodies) I would need to understand this one key thing. There will not always be a healing. But it doesn't mean you don't ask for one...EVERY TIME.
I don't know why healing doesn't happen the way we want and every time we want. But I don't need to know. God knows....and I know God. That is enough for me. I will not falter every time He doesn't answer the way I think He should. I am to do what He asks...and He asks me to step out....that's it....step out and believe for the impossible! The results are HIS.
On Saturday, Gina miscarried. How could something so tiny have affected all of our lives so much? I grew such an appreciation for people trying to have children and unable. How could they go through this once, let alone five and six times? And how cruel people's comments can be. They really don't understand.
There WAS a miracle involved in my story! The miracle was Gina's faith. It rose up when she needed it most. And it got her through a very difficult time.
Now I can't end the story without sharing something with you all that you may not like.....but I have to.
That 8 week old ultrasound picture I saw was a baby with a beating heartbeat. It was not some fetus or lump of cells, or whatever else you may call it. My heart longs to hold this grandchild that is now being held by Jesus in heaven. But, someday....I will meet him/her when they greet me in heaven at the end of my life.
Choosing to end the life of the unborn as a convenience is sin....It happens thousands of times every day throughout our country. Tiny heartbeats are stopped on purpose. Tiny cries are stilled because of lack of understanding. But if you have had an abortion....turn to Jesus for forgiveness. He loves you....and longs to cradle you in His arms just as He is holding your tiny little baby.