Laughter and Tears

Things that make me Laugh:

1. A good practical joke. (Nothing to do with tatoos, though.)
2. Sarcasm. (Gregg's, mine, or anyone else's)
3. Everybody Loves Raymond, but mostly his dad! (Pretty close to my real life)
4. Making someone else laugh. (My favorite)
5. Other peoples' phobias. (Screaming men and spiders really crack me up.)
6. Making up new words to songs that make them a little "naughty".
7. Colter Lemmon.
8. Little kids trying to be funny.
9. Swinging. (Sorry...The one with chains and a seat.)
10. The word weiner. (I know...I know)
11. A good groin shot. (Probably because I am not a man)
12. Looking at myself in a mirror. (You might as well laugh)
13. When my boss brings me a stack of work and says I need this done in an hour.
14. Beating someone better than me at a game.

Things that make me cry:

1. Funerals, weddings, and graduations (Anybody's, Really)
2. A good sermon.
3. Onions.
4. Trying to hold in the giggles at the movies or at church.
5. The smell of my own feet.
6. Being really, really angry.
7. Injustice.
8. Abortions
9. Jeanne
10. My children
11. Losing things.
12. Fear
13. Pounds. (Only on myself, though.)
14. A sad movie...A happy movie....A moving movie....A boring movie...

Family Dynamics

It is interesting to me how as your children grow up into adults with families of their own the whole dynamics of the term "family" changes. Let me explain. As a parent, my family is and will always be the circle of me, my spouse, and my children. As the children go off and get married and have children...my circle expands. My family now also includes their spouses and their children, (my grandchildren). Sometimes it even includes their spouse's extended family. They become my family, also. But, it seems I've also noticed a strange phenomenon. It's not really that strange, but whatever. My children's "family" circle becomes different. It becomes them, their spouse, and their children. Their own brothers and sisters are all still included in their family circle, also. But I've noticed that we, "their parents" become less and less a part of their family circle. "We" began to be excluded and they began to have "family" excursions without including us. Surprisingly, they no longer want to spend time with us. Hey! I know! It's weird, huh? Somehow...they no longer really see their parents as an essential part of their family.
As a parent, I guess it's difficult to understand why you some how have slipped from the pedestal you once stood on and have fallen in their eyes to the level of being somewhere between a pesky, annoying mosquito to a downright pain in their patooty! Now, may I state that as a parent, you never intend to become that! But somehow, amid their teenage years, your voice to them becomes as shrill as the scratching of fingernails across a blackboard and you begin to think that your questions are written on the ceiling the way they roll their eyes at you.
My brain realizes that this has become the way of family dynamics to this generation. It wasn't all that long ago that granny and gramps was essential to the family, and I'm sure Carol Brady and Marian Cunningham were always needed for crucial decision making in their children's lives and always a welcomed addition to Marcia and Ritchie's family outings.
Alas, this is no longer the case. Which brings me to the subject at hand.
As a parent, I wish I could take the higher road....I wish I had no feelings to express, which would make all of my children's life easier. But, I'm going to lay it out there. Sometimes it hurts! My brain understands....my heart hurts. My brain understands that my children and their families all want to go together on a summer outing. My heart says...why didn't they want and need us. Why does our role as parents never end but their role as our children ends the day they head to college?
It's a question that I'll ask God someday...and I'm sure He'll answer, "My children leave me out all the time, too. They don't seem to need or want me, either. They don't invite me along on their outings or to their homes, either. And heaven forbid, that they pay a price for Me. My heart understands this all too well. But, rest assured, I made the family dynamics, the family circle, that way on purpose. You see, a parent's heart is always bigger than their child's heart. It can take the pain. Pain helps the heart grow bigger and softer. It makes you vulnerable and real. That's a good thing. But I tell you the truth, my child, someday your child's heart will grow into a parent's heart. And when that happens, they'll understand, and they will have days that their heart will ache and hurt so bad they won't believe they can hardly stand it. But it will stretch their heart. And that in turn will stretch your heart somemore, also. In fact, somedays the pain will stretch your heart so big you will believe it will explode or break. But it won't, because I am the heart expert and making big, soft hearts is what I'm all about. So get use to it. And learn by looking at how you treat your own parents. Their hearts are the biggest and softest of all."

I Thank My God Every Time I Remember You.

I am amazed that people enter our lives, become important to us in various ways, then exit as quickly as they came...and they seem to be no longer all that important to us any more. School friends, teachers, pastors, neighbors, coworkers, school crushes, students, even enemies. They all fit into that catagory. People we swear we will never lose contact with, become nothing but photos in an album or memories long since faded. I suppose in some ways, it is a good thing we do not become so emotionally attached to these people or our hearts could not bear the great weight of losing them. But still, it is sad that people who were once so important and vital to us in that special time period leave us without too many tears. I guess I would like to pause to remember some of these very special people. I never stopped loving them...I guess I just outgrew them or they me. Some have passed on. Some moved away. And others, well, we just grew apart. I have a huge bulletin board above my computer filled with pictures of these special people. I look at them every day and remember them. I really haven't forgotten!
Childhood & high school friends I'd like to remember: Debbie...Billy...Kay...Jan...My high school group and graduating class...
Teachers...Mrs. Kloppel...Miss Daniels....Mrs. Ruble....
Special relatives....Theresa...Cindy...Uncle Milton...My grandparents...Aunt Shirley...
Special community members: Frank Uhl...Bill Richards....Ruby Snook...
Pastors...Rev & Lois Sauter...Rev. & Mrs. Runyan
Neighbors...Elaine...
Co-workers....Kathy...Phyllis...Twila...Kathy R...so many! Students....Nathan....Robert....Colter...Dakota...Dustin...Kalla...Danny...Chance...Kelsey...Philip...Brandi...Ashley...Jesse...this list is so very long and special..I loved every single one of them.
Enemies...If you ever were one..I doubt you are now. But still, you have made me who I am. Thank you.
If your life has crossed paths with my life....thank you. You have been important to me. If your name is not on the list....it does not mean you aren't important. Everyone of you has made a contribution to who I am. Thank you.
I have a scripture hanging on my bulletin board with all of your pictures. It is Philippians 1:3, "I thank my God every time I remember you." Robert Louis Stevenson once said, "A friend is a gift you give yourself."
I have given myself many friends!

A Really Good Holiday

The house is quiet again. We are back to just two. The Easter holiday has come and went...another year quickly past amidst the laughter of grandchildren and the reflections of the sacrifice Christ endured for us to enjoy that laughter. We're still cleaning up from what looked like a gigantic Easter basket explosion. Plastic eggs and candy, colored grass and abundance of leftovers invade every room and we are left with the screaming quietness that always follows a holiday. Everyone is safely back to where they came from, a bit fuller, maybe, but back just the same. It was a good holiday. Like every holiday, there is always the minor bickerings of too many people in a house at the same time, too many chocolate laced children with sticky hands and chocolate filled diapers! Still, I am contented. God has graced me with wonderful parents and children, a fantastic daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and of course, the most perfect and beautiful grandchildren you could ever hope for. And what a husband! He went along behind everyone cleaning up our messes! I never could do holidays without him. Our prayer time and communion before the dinner was extremely meaningful, even when, during the middle of prayer, our 7 year old grandson, thinking the prayer was going a bit too long, spoke up sighing, "Okay..who ever hasn't prayed yet, raise your hand." I can still hear the laughter of my three year old granddaughter as she played with the noise making Flarp in her Easter basket. I smile as I reflect on the time I spent at the table with my other granddaughter enjoying an imaginary tea party with my little angel tea set that I never take out of the china hutch. I felt peace as my one year old granddaughter climbed on my lap with her "Woobie", a small fuzzy blanket with a bear's head attached to it, and pressed her nose to mine. We sat cheek to cheek in blissful contentedness for quiet sometime, gazing into one another's eyes and smiling. It was a good holiday. We frosted Easter cookies together...we hunted eggs together..went to church together as a family. We played cards and ate too much. We laughed. We fought. We cried. We were a family. A family who loves each other. My heart is full. It was a really good holiday!

Then Comes the Morning

It is 5:00 am on a Monday morning and I am fighting the flu. I've had two and a half days of coughing, fever, and aching headache, haven't slept for a couple of days and on top of that another winter storm warning is predicted with blowing snow and blizzard like conditions...still...I am alive and well. I'm beginning to understand that "Momma said there'd be days like this" and this happens to be one of those days. But, I can hold fast to the promise that "this too shall pass." There is a song that reminds us that even though it can get pretty dark and miserable...then comes the morning! Hope is always found in the morning! After every dark time in our lives...the hope is found in the coming light just around the corner. When things are especially gloomy, or you're exhausted, or sick, or in mourning, or whatever curveball life has thrown at you...there is light at the end of the tunnel. All the cliches that have ever been written are true. "It's just around the corner"....our hope may be found in the LIGHT! When our hope begins to fade under the shroud of darkness, and you feel there is no end to your miseries....you'll slowly begin to see that the blackest darkness begins to fade to a dull gray, and the dull gray begins to soften the shadows that were so discouraging before and you begin to see the shapes of the objects that held you captive in your darkness, but in a blink of an eye.....Then comes the morning!

25 Thrilling Things to Do After the Age of 50

1. Learn sign language. (This is usually taught to you by passing motorists as you drive 35 miles an hour on the highway.)
2. Sit in the mall and pick a new spouse for your mate. This also relieves tension by discovering that there are weirder people than you out there.
3. Guess what kind of underwear the people in the mall are wearing. (This sometimes is too easy to do.)
4. Instead of reading the newest novel, read people's tattoos. (You may not want to do this with your grandchildren along, however.)
5. Count the age spots on your hands and arms. (If you reach more than fifty, you win)
6. Eat at Arby's.
7. Watch Dancing With the Stars. (This is the new Lawrence Welk)
8. Try on a bikini thong. If you get it up to your calf, celebrate.
9. Clip your mates toenails. To really have fun, let them clip yours, also.
10. Practice pulling the hairs out of your chin without a mirror.
11. Stay awake past 8:00 pm. Live dangerously!
12. Take your dentures out of your mouth and make them talk to you like a handpuppet. (This is probably not a good idea if you have company or if your are at the dinner table.)
13. Have knitting needle sword fights.
14. Eat black licorice or red velvet cake and check the color of your stool the next morning.
15. Read the obituaries for ideas.
16. Go to Branson.
17. Write all your Christmas cards in September.
18. Make a list of all the doctors, nurses and health care people you know on a first name basis. Write them all Christmas cards in September.
19. Call all your children and grandchildren by a different name. (This really gets them as they think you don't know what you're doing)
20. Copy the obituaries of your old dead friends and make sure all your children receive a copy. (They should remember them and care, right?)
21. Collect real life horror stories to share with everyone at appropriate times, like the time a microphone fell into the baptismal and electricuted everyone. (A good source for these is the national news, Dr. Phil, and Oprah.)
22. Practice singing loudly and often, substituting words and phrases you don't remember.
23. Play bumper cars with the riding shopping carts in Walmart. (Be sure to say excuse me, though)
24. Hide the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle your spouse is putting together so you can put in the last piece!
25. Make a list of 25 thrilling things you can do after the age of 50.

Beware of Beautiful Packages

I had sort of a revelation this week. Actually, it started with a gift I received from my husband on Valentine's Day. Now, my intention is not to hurt my husband's feelings by telling this story, but to share the insight I gained by it.
I am a gift giver. I love to give gifts. I love to plan surprises and try to make ordinary days extraordinary. This is probably an indication of my Love Language. So gifts and presents are something I am very familiar with.
As I approached the breakfast table early Valentine's Day, I was excited to see that my husband had went to some trouble to please me. He had spread a white table cloth on the table, sat red candles in crystal candleholders and sprinkled confetti of hearts and I Love You's all over the table. There by my plate sat two gifts wrapped in beautful wrapping paper with hearts on them. A card was placed next to the bigger package. It didn't really take me long to recognize what that package held. It was shaped like a jug of bubble bath, and I wasn't surprised when I opened it. However, there was a smaller wrapped box sitting in the middle of the table that grabbed my attention and intrigued me. It looked like it would hold something like a bracelet or necklace. My imagination ran wild, thinking of all the wonderful possibilities that the little box might hold. I couldn't contain my excitement and asked could I open that one now. He handed it to me across the table saying, "You probably can guess what this is." I hadn't a clue....but then as it reached my hands it rattled. In fact it rattled a lot. As I opened the package, realization of the noise hit me. I had unwrapped a 99 cent box of "Good and Plenty" candy coated licorice pieces. My heart sank and the disappointment spread to my face before I even had a chance to try to hold it in...and in that same moment I also saw the hurt on my husband's face. He knew immediately that he had unintentionally hurt me and it caused him pain. He saw what I had seen, too...that his gift was a disappointment to me. Immediately, my disappointment turned to anger. I said hurtful things to him. "Just look at this...did you really think this is a gift any wife would want for Valentine's day." I shouted at him. "Is this all 31 years of marriage is worth to you?" I hurt him because he had hurt me. Angry words, silence and pouting, tears, and unforgiveness were in my heart. I went and shut myself into the computer room to be alone. And that is when God began to speak to me. He used my husband's gift to illustrate several lessons to me that I'm hoping will teach you something, also.
You see, I cared more about the gift than the giver....and He reminded me how often that happens to Him. My eyes had been focused on a beautifully wrapped gift and I allowed my hopes and imagination and expectation to convince myself that their was something beautiful in that package. The "idea" of the gift was more important than the actual gift itself. All the good things my husband had done that morning had been forgotten and this ONE thing plagued and overtook my heart. It began to be all about ME.
God also showed me that sometimes, what is beautiful on the outside, is really not that special on the inside. And sometimes, the ugliest wrapped packages can hold the most beautiful and special gifts on the inside. We humans are usually drawn to the beautiful packages...forgetting that true beauty comes from inside. How shallow we are. We jump and cater to the beautiful, sparkly, popular, rich people, and ignore the plain, poor, undesirable, or unpresentable. Our heroes and "idols" (note the word) are celebrities and sports figures...people we don't even really know...and would more often than not discover that their lifestyles are probably not very worthy of our admiration. How often do we miss an opportunity to discover a genuine jewel or gem because it is hidden and seek after the glitz and shine only later to discover that it was a fake, a poor imitation, or downright ugly on the inside?
God had this message for me. He said to quit focusing on the wrappings...even quit focusing on the gifts. Our focus should turn to the Giver.
God's lessons are painful. I had hurt the one I loved...and I needed to ask for his forgiveness. Fortunately, I have an unbelievably forgiving husband. But more importantly we have an even more forgiving God.
People are more important than things! When you find yourself seeking the gifts rather than the giver....STOP! When outward beauty becomes more important than inward beauty....STOP! When your hurt makes you want to hurt those who hurt you...STOP! And listen to the instruction of God.