Playing Catch Up

Holy cow! I haven't been on here in a very long time. I still love writing....so that isn't the problem. A lot has been going on in the year it has been since I last wrote. My husband, Gregg, had a pacemaker put in in December of 2012 and then in May of 2013, he had an ablation of the heart, which is surgery where they burn around the heart in order to stop the atrial fibrillation. He had some problems early on, but we just went for his appointment on April 2014 (Year) and he is doing really well and gaining his strength back. It's been a long haul, though. They make it sound easier than what it actually is....so don't buy the talk that it is a piece of cake. It isn't. Then our youngest daughter had a complicated pregnancy. She was told that the baby has downs syndrome and delivered a month early on April 23rd. After 3 days of doing okay, the baby had to be flown to Denver. After a week in the NICU with really high jaundice count and really low platelet count, she is finally rallying around. Things are looking up! Our faith has been tested and hopefully proven true, however, I must confess that I got a little testy with God a few times. I will feel much better down the road a little farther, however Aspen Ariya is a beautiful gift from God and we are so grateful for her. Mostly, you just see how kind and loving all your friends and community are and how all the prayers said on her behalf are so important to you when you are going through something like that. So, I guess, I would have to say that we have had our fair share of prayers lifted up lately. We have seen love come in the form of kind words, gifts, money, and prayers. Facebook really shows you how many people and connections you have in the time of need. Both experiences have shown me how important it is for me to be in tuned to others' needs at critical times in their lives, also.

Anyway, welcome to our family, Aspen! I can't wait to learn so much from you. And to my blogger friends.......I've really missed talking to you. I'll be back soon!

Breaking the Silence!

The Supreme Court has spoken. Today will go down in history as the day same sex marriage became legal and recognized as acceptable. A lot of my facebook friends will say, "It's about time." "People have the right to love whom they want." "It's no one's business what people do in their own bedrooms." And I thank God that we are still in a free country and able to have the freedom of speech to be able to express our opinions. However, I am noticing an interesting trend here.....that freedom of speech is somehow not intended for Christians. Christians are called horrendous names and do not seem to have the right to share their opinions with the world. So, for the most part, because I love my facebook friends, I "tolerate" the f-bombs, the crude jokes and pictures, the political agenda of the "gays", the demeaning Obama comments, the recipe lovers, the cat lovers, the cowboys, the drinkers, the gun toting conservatives, the "post if you love Jesus and ignore if you love Satan"....posts! Because that is what this country is all about! The freedom to have a voice and be heard. And so, as long as freedom is still an option in this country...I am going to play my freedom card and share my own for a moment. This should not make me intolerant, a hate monger, a narrow minded bigot, or a bible thumper. It should make me an American. So, to set the record straight, in case I have been misunderstood, and in case at my funeral, someone may say.....I didn't know that is what she believed, I'm breaking the silence. I'm stepping up on my political platform and risking you liking me to tell you who I really am. So, here goes. I believe abortion is murder. I believe lots of the people I know and love have had them....we do what we do with the knowledge we have at the time. And I love those women who face what appears to be no other option. I do not pass judgement on anyone...but if I were allowed to talk to you personally, I would tell you....don't do it. There are options. I understand there are some very hard cases...but these are the exceptions....not the rule. Most abortions are done for convenience. (This is one I use to fight on the side for abortion.) I believe homosexuality is not a disease. I believe it is a chosen behavior. If I again, could talk to each of my homosexual facebook friends, I would tell you that I love you and understand that you believe God made you this way. I just don't want you to believe that because I don't comment on things that I accept this behavior as true. I believe the majority of homosexuals have been molested as children that have left them broken. Again, if you are my true friend, I should be able to express this even if you disagree with me. If this really angers you, and changes your opinion of me, please feel free to delete me as a friend. I will understand. However, I can't sit be and let the world believe I think it is true. I do not believe in aliens! You know, the outer space kind. However, I do believe they will have a part in the great deception to our world in the near future. I believe in a real heaven and a real hell! I see the results of good/evil on earth all the time. I believe that not everyone goes to heaven when they die. Only those who place their trust in Jesus Christ will enter heaven. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Again...this is either the truth or a lie. Either Jesus is who he says he is...or he is a liar! That simple. I believe the Holy Bible is God's word. Every bit of it is true. You heard me....even the hard to except parts. Otherwise, why believe any of it? How could you know what parts are real and what parts aren't? I don't know if I believe in bigfoot. But if he is real, he is a created animal....not a missing link. I absolutely do not believe in evolution. Adaption, yes...evolution....NO. Why do we keep getting worse if the theory of evolution is true? (And I use to believe in it....so I changed my mind on this one.) I still believe there is hope for mankind....if we turn from our wicked, self centered ways and repent. I do not believe repent means to be sorry for.....I believe it means to change directions....do an about face....change the way we are going. I believe God loves us....and is not out to get us. That He gives us chance after chance to see Him for who He really is. That even though "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, He made a provision for that through Jesus Christ." We are the only thing blocking our way to receiving that love and forgiveness. I believe that we never die....your soul lives on eternally somewhere. And that eternity starts here in this life...right now. God has a plan and a purpose for every person and that no one is an accident. But we do have a choice...what we do with that life we were given. I believe Jesus is coming again! And from the looks of things....it could be soon. I believe our children are a gift from God. A legacy to leave the earth after we are gone. I believe WE are the church. Church is not a building we go to on Sunday. It is a living breathing spirit that resides in each of us. It is about love, and kindness, and patience, and selflessness, sharing, and giving. I'm not just the overweight body that greets you at the elementary school everyday. I am a multifaceted being with ideas, and thoughts, and creativity, and spirituality, as are you! Will you choose to love or hate me based upon one aspect of my belief system? Thank you for allowing me to express who I am and what makes me tick! You don't have to like me...but you don't have to deny my rights as a Christian, either! I believe there is enough room on this planet for me and you.......and maybe a bigfoot or two????

God's Timing

I am waiting...our 6th grandchild will be born sometime within the next couple of hours and I find the significance of the date very interesting. You see, it is 11:30 pm on October 13. If it arrives after midnight....it will be an interesting story of God's grace and His perfect timing. God's timing is something we really do not have a grip on. Ecclesiastes 3 states, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build." and in 2 Peter 3:8, "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." Time just isn't the same in the kingdom realm as it is here on earth. So often, we can't understand why God is silent for so long when we need to have our answers quickly,why He tarries and delays when we feel He should move quicker. And yet, it seems timing is everything to Him. When Jesus heard that His friend Lazarus was sick and in need of healing, He did not rush to his side, but the bible says, in John 11:6, "So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days." This is something that we find difficult to understand, yet Jesus had no need to hurry. He knew exactly what He was doing. There was no rush, even when Lazarus' sister ran out to meet Him and tell Him that He was too late.....her brother, Lazarus, had died. She stated that if Christ had been there, he might have lived.....but Jesus was too late!!! In her eyes, once his heart had stopped beating...Jesus was impotent. Render powerless. Unable to perform a miracle. As long as their was life....there was hope. Why is it so easy for us to forget that in the supernatural kingdom, we all are ETERNAL beings (whether we are saved or not?) So although Lazarus was physically dead....spiritually He was still alive. Jesus knew this. Let me state for the record that Jesus is NEVER too late! Jesus is ALWAYS right on time. Again, we may have difficulty recognizing this in the earthly realm....but that is what He wants to teach us. When you get your mind wrapped around the kingdom realm...there is always hope! The lesson He taught us was that EVEN in the physical realm, when all hope is gone....Jesus IS our hope. I have always been a person who likes to be on time. I'm a clock watcher. We need the seconds...the minutes....the hours....the days....the months....the years. They help us stay sane in an insane world. But God isn't like us in that way. He isn't constrained by time. His timing is perfect. He knows the exact time whether it is in our realm or His. And that is why I started this blog in the first place. You see..it was EXACTLY one year ago that Gina was told in the doctor's office that they could not detect a heart beat on the child she miscarried. It's little heart had stopped beating in the womb and she had to say goodbye to a little baby she never got a chance to meet. She saw it's ultrasound picture and knew it was a gift from God that was taken away from her before she even got to hold it. But....exactly one year later, on the exact day....it is the birthday of my newest grandchild...a gift...and another miracle in the lives of the Raben's. Thank you, Jesus for your timing....so we will always remember and celebrate the life of TWO special children, one that is now in the kingdom realm and one that is here with us in the physical realm. Your grace is amazing....and your timing is PERFECT! Miss Kira arrived at 11:59 pm....I just got the call....mother and baby doing fine!

The Fight is Getting More Ferocious

As I type...fire is within 5 miles of our house. If the wind changes, well....OUR HEDGE WILL HOLD....because our God is bigger.....our God is stronger....our God is higher than any other power in the universe. We serve a mighty God....prayers are being lifted all over the surrounding area....we need rain.....we need this blazing inferno to stop. It's sad, but I have a feeling it is sort of how the end of the world will be....fires out of control everywhere and no one to fight them....left to run rampant incinerating everything in their path. We have no use for God until we need something from Him. How many have called on His name in this crisis, but have not spoken to Him in a very long time. Oh, Father....we repent of our selfishness and stubborness. We cry out to you in our fear and anguish...please forgive us. We need you always. In the good and the bad. Please form a hedge around our land, our family, our house....and keep us safe from the arrows of the enemy. Let no weapon formed against us prosper. Thank you...Save us Lord. As we stand firm in the enemy's attack! Amen.

The Attack Continues...But We are More Than Conquerers

As I write this, I am continuing from the last blog where I explained how my family was under attack from one of the highest demon adversaries. I can't even begin to tell you some of the ways he is trying to destroy our family, but I do know that he is mad as a hornet for some reason. As I write this, my youngest daughter, Jill and her husband, Vaughn, are in their second week of Chi Alpha ministry on the WNCC campus in Scottsbluff. It isn't an easy campus to get onto with a Christian ministry, so they have kind of an uphill battle. Last week they had their first meeting with about 15 attending. Saturday, they had a bowling party and about 20 attended. Tonight, Jill had facebooked saying that it was a great night of ministry on campus with nearly 30 attending. Her excitement was short lived. At 10:30 pm tonight, she called asking us to begin our spiritual warfare in prayers. The enemy had struck again.....while they were in their meeting, one of the boys in there group lost his home to a fire (during the meeting). Afterwards, they all went to have pie at a local cafe (17-18 of their students and them. Jill and Vaughn's pastor called and told them about the fire and they had to go try and find a place for this boy to stay. While they were trying to find a motel for him.... they drove back by the cafe and there had been a multi car accident involving several of their students. They were all in shock and a couple of them had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital complaining of neck and back injuries. One of them now does not have a car. Jill immediately called us, as she also believes that we are under attack. The enemy is like a roaring lion seeking to kill, steal and destroy. His time on earth is short and he fears our family's faith and ministry. He knows we are close to big spiritual victories.....Please continue to cover us in your prayers and the blood of Jesus. What a mighty God we serve! Greater is He that is in us, than He that is in the world! All praise to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If God is for us...who can be against us???

Under Attack

My family has been under attack this month. It started with a lot of physical ailments and has progressed to an all out war on our family, health, careers, finances, etc. I started putting two and two together when I started noticing that many of the same physical symptoms Gregg and I had, started showing up in the people around me. (Sounds weird, I know) but I've been exploring a lot about healing and spiritual attacks....and this was definitely a spiritual attack. Immediately, my husband and I started a defensive prayer vigil. To make a long story short, during my prayer time, I asked God to show me the name of my spiritual attacker. I was given two words which I immediately wrote down on a piece of paper, then went back to praying. When we had finished our prayers, Gregg and I began to investigate the two words God had given me. I knew I did not have the first name quite right, as I had placed a question mark behind it and told Gregg that it wasn't quite right, but something close to it. The first name I had written down was Abadding ( I told him it could be Abadingdon...or Abaddon or something close to that. He said he thought that Revelation mentioned a demon named Abaddon (also known as Apollyon. Wow...that was interesting. He is actually the head demon of the Abyss and king of the locusts. The name Abaddon means destroyer. Fitting. The second name was Hadad. The complete name of the spiritual demon waging war on us was Abaddon Hadad. After researching Hadad in the old testament, we discovered that Hadad was the adversary of King Solomon. Again...very interesting. Adversary (Satan) King Hadad was opposing the King of wisdom. (Jesus). We learned a lot by exploring online also, but determined that our family is being attacked by one of the higher demons. Abaddon (of the 7th heirarchy.....Hadad (the 7th son of Ishmael. Okay, by now you are going to think I am crazy...but that is okay...believe me, I understand. Since our discovery, I can't begin to tell you of the things that started happening in my family's life. He is trying to take us down....trying to take us out. He is messing with our minds, our bodies and our extended family. Apparently, he is afraid we are very close to doing something dynamic for the kingdom of God, because he is trying to destroy our witness, our credibility, our marriages, you name it. We are in a battle....but praise God, we will be victorious. Romans 8:37-39 New International Version (NIV) 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Keep our family in your prayers as we battle the enemy. War is hard, and I am tired.

Pet Flies and Singing Toilets

It's been a long couple of weeks! It seems that no rain, ever-over-the hundreds heat, and crappy health issues are plaguing our house. So maybe a little dose of humor at my expense is in order. After a Sunday night of a self imposed anxiety attack believing I was having a heart attack created enough fear and doubt in me, I decided it was time to go to the doctor....rather than the emergency room. Thus began all of the tests and crap that go along with it. My EKG was normal, but doctor ordered a stress test next. He actually thinks it is sleep apnea...not my heart....but thus another test. Now, I have been walking on the treadmill so was familiar with that....but again fear set in. I had heard horror stories about people dropping over dead from that test. Of course, when I got in there, my blood pressure skyrocketed. I had been walking on my treadmill at a .5 incline. They were going to start me out at a ten. Ha Ha Ha. Are you serious? I did great on the test and passed with flying colors, however I now have to take 2 little blood pressure pills a day. Monday night, I go in for my sleep apnea test...It sort of creeps me out to think about all these people sitting around watching you sleep....I mean, what if I scratch something that itches....what if I pick my nose....or pass gas...or some other horribly embarrassing thing.....for goodness sake....WHAT IF I TALK OUTLOUD IN MY SLEEP...I mean, I have some WEIRD dreams. On top of everything else, I have developed this hacking cough that will not go away! I sound like I should be going to a tuberculosis ward. They will have some fun with the squeals, squeaks, and sounds that come out of my throat now. I'll sound like an orchestra with all my vocal and other bodily instruments! Then, Gregg finally made a doctor appointment for his atrial fibrillation. It seems his heart decided to go for the finish line. It had to be bad for HIM to call the doctor himself. Doctor wasn't impressed with the speedy little devil and sent him to get a cardiogram today. They couldn't even get an appropriate reading because they couldn't get his heart down under the 95 beats. His was going 120 some continually, even in a restful state. Doctor said he was a stroke waiting to happen and put him on the same blood pressure medicine they gave me....also put him on Warfarin....which he is not impressed about. Hopefully, we'll know more on Monday, if not before. He's been living with this for 12 years now, but the last couple it is become continual, not just once in awhile. Wolff Parkinson White syndrome runs in his family, so hopefully he can have the ablation (sort of surgery) to fix it like his brother, nephew and niece did. We are also in the process of ripping up our carpet, as the carpet layers are coming tomorrow. Furniture is piled in all the other rooms, and it's like a safari to get to the kitchen. So.....after all this.....I decided a nice warm soaking bath in a dark bathroom sounded amazing.....I got the water nice and deep, nice and hot and poured in some aches and pains soothing oil and crawled in for a peaceful stress free time in the tub. Right??? Ha Ha Ha! Don't be absurd. That would be too easy. As I just got settled in.... a tiny little kamikazee fly decided to give me some company. He dive bombed me buzzing in my ear then landed on me long enough to illicit a flapping of my hands to shoo him away. This continued for the next five minutes with him skating on my exposed flesh while I tried to kill him. Why is it that a single fly can create such havoc with two invisible feet and an annoying buzz? He had just left me alone for 2 seconds when my singing toilet decided to give me a personal concert. It started warming up it's voice with a low continual whining tone, than increased it's pitch to a shrill shrieking shrew. It's been doing this lately....maybe it just wants someone to pay attention to it....give it a little pat on the lid, and a friendly handle shake. But, seriously.....does it need to serenade me while I'm trying to relax in the peace and quiet of a dark room and warm tub? It of course, would not shut up until I jumped out of the tub dripping wet and shook it's hand! I decided that I really didn't sweat the big things very much....my trust is in God for those things.....But those small irritating things did not set well with me! Someone looking in would have thought I was a crazy lady...flapping the air, yelling and shaking the handle of a toilet telling it to SHUT UP! I think I need to chill....oh, by the way....the toilet is singing again as I type this. I might as well join it. Oh solo mi oh! Where did my pet fly go??