Only the Innocence of a Child

My daughter recently posted a blog about the funny things her children had said and it sparked a couple of memories of my own.

When Gina and Jordan were about seven and four, we were playing a child's trivia game together. I drew a card and asked Gina the question on the card. "Where is Pearl Harbor?" Gina paused a moment and answered, "Hawaii??" I then remarked, "That was great, Gina. I didn't think you'd know that." Four year old Jordan, wanting to add his own words of encouragement to his older sister stated excitedly, "Yeah, good job, Gina. I don't even know who she is."

It seemed that quite often, it was Jordan who drew the laughs from his comments. On one particular day, Grandpa Raben and Uncle Paul decided to take the kids fishing down at our dam. Again, Jordan was about four years old and tagged along behind. After a while, they returned to grandma's house with a large white bucket containing the fish they had caught. Jordan entered Grandma's house ahead of the rest of the men and Grandma Veda asked him, "What do you have in that bucket of yours?" She could detect a little disappointment as he looked up into her face and answered her question in his little four year old voice, "Well....they said there was a bull head in there....but when I looked......it was just a fish!"

My mom always tells the story of the time she was grating cheese for tacos. Jill had been standing there watching for quite awhile when she finally spoke up, "Grandma...can you give me a piece of that cheese before you erase it all?"

Raised in a church home, we had several opportunities to talk to our children about God, the stories in the bible and even the devil. This particular day Gregg and I were discussing Revelation and in particular...the devil and the Mark of the Beast. We had been in a pretty deep discussion and hadn't really noticed that Jordan's little ears had been intently taking in everything we had been discussing. When we got to the part about the Devil and his number being 666, Jordan's little hand tugged at my arm interrupting, and asked, "But what happens if you call it????"

Speaking of church, we were a family that attended church every week rain or shine...so over the years the kids heard a lot of hymns and songs sung. Again, little ears didn't always hear the right words that were sung. For instance...Jill would sing loudly, "Amazing Grace how sweet is paste."

I can't attend an Easter service without laughing every time I hear the song, "He Arose", It went like this..."Up from the grave He arose...with a mighty triumph o're His foes." But when our little man sang that song loudly Easter Sunday, it came out, "Up from the grave He arose....with a mighty trumpet for His nose." I bet even Jesus laughed at that one.

And last, but definitely not least....our Jill story. There was a children's Sunday School song that was quite popular at the time. "Behold, Behold...I stand at the door and knock, knock, knock." Jordan was probably nine and Jill was three or four at the time. Jordan was on the sofa singing the song at the top of his voice over and over again. Pretty soon Jill ran in, the ever innocent tattletale. "Mom....Mom...Jordan's cussing." "Why? What is he saying, I asked? Mimicking the song in a sing song voice she replied, "He's singing B-Hole, B-Hole."

And now, one that makes Jill still laugh...at ME! I was singing one day "I'm your Venus...I'm Your Fire...Georgie Sire!" Jill was rolling on the floor making fun of me. When I asked her what was so funny...she replied..."It's not Georgie Sire....it's "Your desire!!! Good Grief, Mom!!!!"

I guess now I know where they got it!!!

I Miss the Old, Young Jill

I was flipping through some of my old pictures and came across a few when we use to have all of Jill's friends out to our house. We would have scavenger hunts, movie nights, bonfires, Halloween parties, Christmas parties, and Birthday parties. Some of the faces changes, but the core group stayed pretty much the same. I found myself smiling as I recalled some of the highlights. They were good times and I miss the teen-age Jill who would keep me up till all hours of the night with goofy friends, giggling girls, dramatic love lifes, and long visits after everyone had left and it was just the two of us. But it is bittersweet, too. I guess I never realized how much I cared about those teenagers who passed through our lives so quickly, and even now...how lonely I get for THAT Jill and her friends. They kept me young. Now the silence is excruciating as Gregg and I fall asleep in our chairs and I long to hear Colter and Dakota singing with their microphones to some song on the American Idol singing game. Dakota could really belt out Tiny Dancer! I miss Robert and Colter bickering over some video game, and Motz' smile. I miss Chirsten and Jill's giggling over a whispered secret and Kevin cracking jokes that were actually quite witty. I miss stumbling over the bodies strewn across my living room floor watching movies and eating abundant amounts of junk food. And there was always some form of drama to be found whether it was Tessa and Cameron's not getting along or the moodiness of one teenager or another. I guess what I really want to say is thank you! To each one of you that entered our doors, you made my life fun and I love you all. It's bittersweet to know that as you all grow older, you all go separate ways and drift apart. You were good friends to Jill and you made her teenage years memorable and exciting. I hope that you will pause a moment to think of the fun times at the Raben's and think of us with the same fond memories that we think about each of you. Now for a few memories:

Boys trying on all the homecoming dresses :0) What was it with the boys wanting to dress up in girls clothing?

Halloween night and the spooky lights going on and off and Courtney trying to punch out the guy in the trench coat (Shawn Wright)while Darrick and Quinn were too afraid to go outside or go to the barn to find the clues.

The Pirate Party and Anthony running away with all the loot.

Eating Aebleskivers and little smokies until you were sick.

The Silly Supper where you had no idea what you were ordering.

The water fight.

Grandpa Jim chewing out the girls for chasing the chickens.

Hanging out on the top of the haystack.

Motz getting his pickup stuck in a snowbank and Gregg pulling him out.

Robert and Colter playing that old cowboy Nintendo game...and liking it.

The Mighty Armadillos (Thank you Chance, Danny, Jason, Jarod, Colt, Sam, AJ, Dallas, Colter, Quinn, Ashley, Jocelyn, etc.) That was one of the most fun things I ever did. (Loved doing Seven Brides, too. Quinn, your solo blew me away!)

Lifted Out of the Box

It has just been recently that I have been enlightened to the fact that the major portion of my life has been spent imprisoned in some kind of a box. The first couple of years of my life were enjoyed in the confines of a crib..a playpen...a carseat...a highchair...a stroller.... or my mother's arms. They were meant as a form of my protection, and even as I started to explore the perimeters of my well guarded fortresses, and began climbing out of the crib or playpen, I was reminded over and over again how dangerous it was to be unconfined or unrestrained. As I grew, the boxes became a little bigger, and the borders went a little farther, but I began to slowly understand that there was a well planned conspiracy to keep me within the four walls of my safety zone. Now the box became my room....my yard..and my city block. I would get glimpses of "the outside" once in awhile, but was quickly reminded by my parents and peers that scary things were on the outside and the big wide world would gobble you up if you dared to dream a different dream than the one that lay inside of the box that was designed especially for you. As the teen years approached, my box grew and expanded...only this time it extended beyond the physical and began to develop inside of my mind, my thoughts, desires, dreams, and spirit. Although I was free to roam the four corners of my large box, other boxes of various sizes began to fill the box I was enclosed within, pressing me into the corner from all sides until I had very little room in my box left for me. The little boxes came in the form of peer pressure, desire to please others, obedience to the laws, parents, church, friends, teachers, ideas, politics, sexual beliefs, so many boxes...and being the opinionated person that I am...I had lots of beliefs and words on every subject imaginable. As adulthood approached, I began to see that others lived in different boxes than I did....but boxes just the same. The borders may have extended farther than mine, but they weren't any more free than I was. They were restrained by different ideologies or ideas...but they were still in bondage. I would look outside my four walls, with a floor and ceiling, and wondered if I would ever really understand what freedom was. It sounded sooo good. Jesus said that He came to set the captives free...and I definitely was a captive. The church (religious establishment) would tell you that Christ could set you free...but then they would tie you up so tightly in the bondage of fear, shame, or some other warped religious rhetoric. I now believe that they were so afraid that you might escape their grips and truly find the freedom that Christ talked about, leaving them to remain in their box all alone. So they worked even harder at keeping you in the same box as them. Religion (man created rules about how we should live under the law) is a horrible way to live. It keeps you in bondage. It keeps you in a box. Christ came that we may have life and have it more abundantly. I had been "religious" for many years...it has just been recently (the last couple of years) that I have really discovered God's grace. It is sad that it took soooo many years before I found the freedom I had longed for. I had tried to climb out of my box many times. But it wasn't until I lifted my arms to Jesus and said, "I'm ready to come out", that I was released from my bondage, and I want to share that with you. Religion produces "a works mentality", an "I can earn God's favor"... Religion produces "a judgemental" attitude, an "I am more holy than you" attitude. Religion produces hypocrites...pretenders....Grace produces an understanding of what Jesus did for me on the cross and a love and desire to serve and please him. Grace produces an uncondeming love for others. Grace (God's undeserved favor) gives us freedom without boundaries...because boundaries are unnecessary for someone who is so in love with the one who died for you. As I told you all once before...I quit attending church for over a year. It was the best thing I ever did....a time of growth and letting go of security...but God has called me back to church....and I LOVE IT! I WANT TO GO TO CHURCH! I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK EVERY SUNDAY! What produced such a radical change in my thinking and in my life? I was set free! It is all because of God's amazing grace...Jesus lifted me out of the box, and said I love you....be free! And I fell down on my knees and worshipped Him saying....I love you and it is my desire to serve you! Are you tired of being in bondage? Are you ready to be lifted out of your box? There is amazing freedom waiting for you outside of the box and His name is Jesus. I guarantee you...once you are FREE to worship....YOU'LL NEVER BE THE SAME!

A Valentine's Day Love Letter From God

My dear child,
Because it is so close to Valentine's Day, I decided to express my love for you in a Valentine's Love Letter. I know that my Holy Word is also my love letter to you, but you haven't picked it up for a very long time so I thought I might have a better chance of reaching you through facebook. Even when you are very busy, I see that you can squeeze in time there, so maybe you will receive this afterall. It seems sometimes, we go for such long periods of time without talking to one another and I often get so lonely for you. I sometimes think that you must get lonely for me, too, but I still never hear from you. I just want to remind you of how great is the love I want to lavish on you, so that you might remember that you are my child.
(1 John 3:1) I want you to know that I have loved you with an everlasting love; I draw you to me with lovingkindness. (Jeremiah 31:3). In this world with all of it's definitions of love, it would be understandable to see how confused you might become. The world lives for today and lets tomorrow worry about itself. You are so precious to me. It makes me sad when I see you give yourself away so readily to people or things so undeserving of your affections. You are valuable. Why can't I make you understand that? Everything I created in you is perfect to me. I made you exactly the way I did for a reason. You are my symphony. Every musical note in your laughter pleases me. You are my poetry. Every inward part of your spirit has the rhyme of my own heart. You are my finest work. Why can't you understand that and start living the life I intended for you? Why must you waste your beauty and heart on my creation rather than on me, your creator. I so want you to live a life of love, just as Christ loved you and gave himself up for you as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to me. (Ephesians 5:2) You can rely on the love I have given you. I am love.(1 John 4:16). I am faithful. My love never fails. My love endures forever. I will strengthen and protect you. (2 Thesselonians 3:3) I am like no other lover that you chase after. I am faithful and true to the one I love. I will never leave you. Where others may let you down, hurt you, or reject you, my love is unfailing and unconditional. I pursue you and woo you to come back to me. My child, return to the one who knows everything you have ever done and does not reject you but draws you into my loving and forgiving embrace. I wonder sometimes, if your friends or the church have misrepresented me to you...that possibly you may believe me to be stern, unforgiving or even expecting something from you in order to stay in my good graces. I assure you that isn't true, but men love darkness instead of light (John 3:19). Be warned, a time is coming when men will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to other myths. (2 Timothy 4:4) They do not understand my love. They love the creation more than the creator. I am with you. I am mighty to save, I take great delight in you and I will quiet you with my love. I will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) Did you know that I long to hold you in my arms and sing into your hair to quiet you with my love? As far as the east is from the west I have removed your trangressions from you. (Psalm 103:12) I have compassion on you. I satisfy your desires with good things. Well, my dear child....I guess I'll close. Think about what I have said. It's really simple. I love you. Come home.
Love,
God

My Birthday Prayer for Jadyn

Today is your 3rd birthday, Jadyn. Time goes by so quickly and before you can blink an eye, you are all grown up. We are celebrating your birthday on Saturday, so for now...I will give you a birthday prayer.
Dear Jadyn,
My birthday prayer for you this day is that you will never grow out of your childlike awe, and that as you mature you will continue to see things through the eyes of a child....with amazement at the world around you.....anticipating with joy all the things that you can not wait to see, touch or accomplish. Too often as we age, we become a little jaded and cynical, less trusting, and we keep our hearts guarded. I pray that you will love with abandonment, trust and think the best of everyone you meet, and appreciate them for who they are even if they don't think like you or are from a different background or culture. I pray that you are blessed with a gift of insight so that you may understand the heart of people, that you are in tune to their heart's melody and that insight will provide you with strong, loving relationships throughout your lifetime. I pray that you will appreciate the little things in life, that you stop and smell the roses....that you make time for the more important things in life, like your family, your future spouse and your future children. I pray that you don't settle...like the rest of the world, for mediocre...that you wait for the best, because you deserve it. Above all, I pray that you recognize the importance of having a relationship with God the Father, and His Son, Jesus. As you grow and mature physically, I also pray that you will gain spiritual maturity and that even as a child and teenager, you will be guided with wisdom and choose lighted paths in a dark world. And I pray that when you make mistakes, and choose the wrong paths, that God will provide you with His wonderful grace that forgives so readily and unconditionally. Don't forget to give that same grace to others. You are a gift to this world, and I thank God for you....but I pray that you also remember that you are a gift to others and you have special abilities and resources that only you can share with the world. Be more of a giver and less of a taker. Learn from life's hard lessons and grow from them. As a very wise quote states...dance as if no one is watching...Sing as if no one is listening...Love as if there is no tomorrow. You, my child, and your generation, are the hope that this old earth longs for. Be the change that is needed. Be the light. Embrace life, laugh often...pause to notice the view...touch and taste each day that God has given to you and rejoice. Have no regrets and look fear in the face without backing down. Greet each day as a gift not a burden. Be thankful. Respect your elders. Devour knowlege. And don't forget to change your underwear in case you're in an accident :0) I love you. Happy Birthday! Love, Meanma

Tag...You're It!

Okay...so I have been tagged by OriGINAl ImaGINAtions, which means I must write 7 random things about me and then tag another 7 people. (Problem is, I don't have 7 people to tag...so...I'll just write the 7 random things about me and consider it completed).

1. I was voted best actress in my high school play. (That actually might explain alot about me.) I played a high school girl celebrating my birthday with my friends in a haunted house. Okay...I really probably shouldn't have won best actress....because the shocked and surprised look on my face as they carried out my birthday cake and placed it on a table in front of me was NOT acting! My shocked and surprised look was caused from the picture of an unclothed man that one of the boys laid on the table next to the cake. Goodness....If Miss Mary Daniels, my high school drama teacher would have found it...we would have all been in a lot of trouble :0). We won't even talk about some of the other pranks they pulled during play practice...however I do recall a head peering over the 12 foot tall sets. (And a streaker (and we all know who you are) in the play two years earlier that Miss Mary chased off the set trying to catch him. (Those were the days :0).

2. I was going to be named Tom if I was a boy.

3. On our senior sneak trip to Estes Park, CO, some of my "good" friends thought they would help Gregg and I start liking each other...so they made him sit next to me on the bus going down. You know what....he never moved the rest of the trip :0) And NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY!

4. I have never flown on an airplane.

5. I have nightmares about bears and tornados. And I read everything I can get my hands on about Mt. Everest.

6. I never had a date to any of my high school dances. (Of course the black, cat eye glasses didn't help immensely :0(. (Dang..you would have thought my last name might have worked :0).

7. My first kiss was at age 13 as the result of the boy being "dared" in the game truth or dare. (I don't think I washed my lips for a couple of weeks! Ha!) It was all verrrry innocent. My, how the times have changed!

There you have it.....seven things about me that you probably never knew...and maybe didn't care to. Tag...You're IT!

Choose LIFE That You Might Live!

I have mixed emotions about the new year. On one hand, it is refreshing...a second chance, a fresh start, a clean slate. On the other, it is a time of reflecting...people you've lost, time that's slipped away, and missed opportunities.
On one hand....it's been a very good year..a new granddaughter, happy memories, good health, the discovery that I love church again. (I went through a time of not attending church...it's a good story I'll have to share with you all someday.) But this year had it's share of grief also. Deaths of loved ones, news of cancer and diseases upon friends and people I love, the decline of health of our parents, and yes, even the irritating little aches and pains in my own body.
Actually, 2009 has been no different than any of the other years. Each year offers you a clean slate on January 1, as the chapter in your life's story starts over again only to end on December 31. But isn't that what life is? Chapters in your life's story? Gains, losses, happy moments, sad moments, financial ups and downs, highs and lows. The chapters are YOUR story...but The Story...well it's HIS. You are a part of a bigger story. And sometimes, when we question why things happen in our chapters (because it doesn't seem to be what's in MY best interest) the answer isn't about YOUR story. We will never see the big Story if our eyes continue to remain fixed on OUR chapters of that Story.
Where am I going with this? I guess what I would like you to get out of this is that LIFE happens while we are sleep-walking through living. It's time to rise and shine and wake up to ABUNDANT LIFE! Quit focusing on your chapters and begin to read and live the BIG STORY. We can either choose to sleepwalk through life as a zombie..through all the ups and downs, moaning and complaining that it isn't fair, plugging through it, just a shadow of who we were meant to be....OR...we can WAKE-UP....enjoy LIFE with our eyes wide open. Actually choose to LIVE life with all it's surprises...both pleasant and unpleasant, and asking what is the lesson to be learned in all of this and grateful that we were given a chance at LIFE in the first place. So many of us view life through such a narrow window, that we aren't contributing very much to the bigger picture. Your life is not your own, it was bought by a price.(1 Cor. 6:19-20) You do not exist for your own purpose. You exist for ABUNDANT LIFE which can only be found in God's Son, Jesus. (I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.~John 10:10.)
A song I listen to has this phrase in it..."Choose LIFE that you might live."
As this new year (2010) comes bursting forth tonight...view it as an opportunity....It is a choice. LIFE or just living??? I CHOOSE LIFE!